How to cut ties with someone / get over someone

12/02/2016


"My friends tell me to cut ties with him but I don't think I'm strong enough to do that. I'm so tired of feeling this way. It's been going on for too long, I need to get over him."

I'm far from knowing everything. We as humans learn something new every day. And I'm only twenty so I'm only as wise as I can be. And others might give you different advice. You are in a quite complicated situation, but maybe it's not too complicated. It hurts. I believe you and I guarantee you this hurts. And my advice will hurt and it will hurt if you follow my advice. But look, it is hurting you already. You are struggling because you're holding onto someone because they're obviously important to you and they once made you feel good and giddy and in love and appreciated.

But the thing is that person can't give you what you want to make you happy. They're here, having them in your life seems like the most reasonable thing because it's them. But even though you love them, you should always love yourself as well. Even more. Respect yourself. Respect your happiness. Even though that means sacrificing something and someone and abandoning a walk of temporary, devastating "happiness". You're better off without them. Trust me. You have friends who are there for you, who actually care about you and your happiness. You don't need that person in your life. You have the choice of keeping or letting go of people, knowing what is best for your happiness.

1. Have a chat with them. You already had a chat with them, I suppose. And you're pretty sure it's the only way. Meaning: they're not going to change their mind and you shouldn't feel like you should change yourself to match their style or anything. It's not worth it.

2. Don't torture yourself. Delete them off Facebook, Twitter, any social media site. Don't torture yourself by seeing them on your dashboard and timeline. You'll see things that will hurt you and that will make your overthink everything on a hightened note. Don't do this to yourself, it's adding salt to the wound.

3. Remind yourself of what you have (friends, family, support they can smother you with) and that it will be better in the long run. Invest in the friendships and relationships to other people that make you happy, that are healthy, that you can rely on. Don't be afraid of bothering them. Nobody can do this alone and nobody should have to. And remember always - in the long run, in a few months or in a year, you will feel fine. You will see this as a memory. You'll be okay. And this will be a good decision. A painful one but definitely the most healthy one.

4. Cry. Let it out. Everything. If you want to cry and you started crying whilst reading this, cry. Seriously, you can't just keep this inside. Cry on a friend's shoulder, cry until you fall asleep. This is hurting. This is painful experience and you're going through a lot of emotions. It's fine. This is process. Cry.

5. Give yourself time. It's not a quick fix. It's hard. I'm sorry. But give yourself time to process this and get over this person. Of course you can't forget them. But one day you'll accept that it just didn't work out. Even though it could've been something great. It doesn't always work out between two people. And that's fine. You'll manage and you'll be okay.
I hope this will help a little bit. It's always good to get an objective view on things when you're blinded by the pain you're going through right now. And I hope I could give that to you. I love you and remember you'll be fine!

If you, my readers, have more advice for this lovely lady, leave them below! Let's help out as much as we can. People who go through the same thing will possibly read this and scroll through comments as well. Let's help together.

Until then - stay lovely,
Arden

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