A new year, a new beginning, reset button, yes, blah blah, we've all heard this before. We feel like we have to change things and do things we never got to do and we want to push ourselves to do more, be more in the new year. And do we achieve all of those resolutions?

Really?

No, seriously... Do we?

Well, I've got a list of some resolutions that I set for myself for this year and I think they're pretty damn realistic. And I say that as someone who has had resolutions every single year that were forgotten on the 1st of January each year. My bad.

  • Clear out my wardrobe. It's time.
  • Limit my takeaway and pizza order consumption to once a week.
  • Express my gratitude more.
  • Set up a regular saving account and save a small amount of money each month because I know I'll pat myself on the shoulder for it.
  • Travel. Go on trips, even if it's to the next neighbourhood or the next small city.
  • Actually use those coupon cards.
  • Get new lovely bed sheets because I'm a sucker for those and need new ones.
  • Walk and bike more.
  • Set a timer for the perfect tea temperature and never forget to drink tea while it's still warm again.

What are your most realistic resolutions for the new year?

Until then – stay consistent,
Arden

Realistic New Year Resolutions

12/29/2016


A new year, a new beginning, reset button, yes, blah blah, we've all heard this before. We feel like we have to change things and do things we never got to do and we want to push ourselves to do more, be more in the new year. And do we achieve all of those resolutions?

Really?

No, seriously... Do we?

Well, I've got a list of some resolutions that I set for myself for this year and I think they're pretty damn realistic. And I say that as someone who has had resolutions every single year that were forgotten on the 1st of January each year. My bad.

  • Clear out my wardrobe. It's time.
  • Limit my takeaway and pizza order consumption to once a week.
  • Express my gratitude more.
  • Set up a regular saving account and save a small amount of money each month because I know I'll pat myself on the shoulder for it.
  • Travel. Go on trips, even if it's to the next neighbourhood or the next small city.
  • Actually use those coupon cards.
  • Get new lovely bed sheets because I'm a sucker for those and need new ones.
  • Walk and bike more.
  • Set a timer for the perfect tea temperature and never forget to drink tea while it's still warm again.

What are your most realistic resolutions for the new year?

Until then – stay consistent,
Arden
Cover of The Nightwalker
Now an adult, Leon wakes one morning to find his wife Natalie hastily packing a bag. Bruised and evidently scared of him, Natalie runs out of the door and disappears. Confused about what's happened, Leon begins to wonder if his night-walking has started again. Fitting a motion-activated camera to his forehead to record what he does when he sleeps, Leon makes a shocking discovery. There's a hidden door in his apartment which he never knew about. As he descends into a nightmare somewhere between sleeping and walking, Leon discovers that there's a fine line between reality and dreaming – but sometimes waking up isn't an option...


I only read it once but it looks like I've been tossing it here and there for years.

The Nightwalker was new to me and its synopsis immediately drew me in which made me buy the book eventually. I started reading it on my way back home and even missed my tram stop when its tale that was so twisted and addictive totally captivated me.

The story displays Leon as a well-adjusted adult who had put his with insomnia tainted past behind him – until his wife and he move into a new flat and everything begins to fall apart. They're on the verge of giving up on their life as wife and husband and after a disturbing incident, his wife disappears and leaves Leon confused.

The story then grew dark and twisted as Leon tries to find out what he does in his sleep with help of a motion-activated camera that he fits onto his head before going to sleep. What happens then had me wanting more and more as the suspense became delicious. I mean this story made me forget eating dinner, wanting to read on until I knew what happened. Did he hit his wife? If he did, why would he do that in his sleep? Is he being violent while sleepwalking, as if his sleepwalking self was a different person?

With Leon, the author gave us an unreliable, utterly confused and anxious narrator which made it interesting and gripping for the reader to want to read on and explore Leon's thoughts as he slowly starts to lose it. Not only is Leon likeable enough, he is also only giving us rough perceptions on what the secondary characters are like which makes it even more clever since I found myself suspecting multiple times who was to trust and who wasn't.

The story grew really dark at times and there are definitely passages containing violence – if you needed a warning, this was it.
While reading this story, you'd find yourself uncertain if things are actually happening or not. I'm being absolutely honest when I say I was confused a lot of times, trying to figure out whether Leon was dreaming, hallucinating or whether the things were actually happening. So there were a lot of WTF thoughts that drove me on and on until the last page – unable to see plot twists coming.

The ending left me with goosebumps and a lasting expression on my face what my sister would now call a "What the hell am I going to do with my life now"–face.

A truly interesting, and probably controversial book that I had to write a review about. If you crave a dark suspension driven thriller, this is it. It's also available on Audible if you'd fancy listening to it.
Have you read the book or have you heard of it? What do you think? (Please don't leave any spoilers in the comments – I'm open for those who want to discuss the book with me, though! I'm always available via E-Mail!)

Until then – stay on the look-out,
Arden

Bookshelf: The Nightwalker

12/27/2016

Cover of The Nightwalker
Now an adult, Leon wakes one morning to find his wife Natalie hastily packing a bag. Bruised and evidently scared of him, Natalie runs out of the door and disappears. Confused about what's happened, Leon begins to wonder if his night-walking has started again. Fitting a motion-activated camera to his forehead to record what he does when he sleeps, Leon makes a shocking discovery. There's a hidden door in his apartment which he never knew about. As he descends into a nightmare somewhere between sleeping and walking, Leon discovers that there's a fine line between reality and dreaming – but sometimes waking up isn't an option...


I only read it once but it looks like I've been tossing it here and there for years.

The Nightwalker was new to me and its synopsis immediately drew me in which made me buy the book eventually. I started reading it on my way back home and even missed my tram stop when its tale that was so twisted and addictive totally captivated me.

The story displays Leon as a well-adjusted adult who had put his with insomnia tainted past behind him – until his wife and he move into a new flat and everything begins to fall apart. They're on the verge of giving up on their life as wife and husband and after a disturbing incident, his wife disappears and leaves Leon confused.

The story then grew dark and twisted as Leon tries to find out what he does in his sleep with help of a motion-activated camera that he fits onto his head before going to sleep. What happens then had me wanting more and more as the suspense became delicious. I mean this story made me forget eating dinner, wanting to read on until I knew what happened. Did he hit his wife? If he did, why would he do that in his sleep? Is he being violent while sleepwalking, as if his sleepwalking self was a different person?

With Leon, the author gave us an unreliable, utterly confused and anxious narrator which made it interesting and gripping for the reader to want to read on and explore Leon's thoughts as he slowly starts to lose it. Not only is Leon likeable enough, he is also only giving us rough perceptions on what the secondary characters are like which makes it even more clever since I found myself suspecting multiple times who was to trust and who wasn't.

The story grew really dark at times and there are definitely passages containing violence – if you needed a warning, this was it.
While reading this story, you'd find yourself uncertain if things are actually happening or not. I'm being absolutely honest when I say I was confused a lot of times, trying to figure out whether Leon was dreaming, hallucinating or whether the things were actually happening. So there were a lot of WTF thoughts that drove me on and on until the last page – unable to see plot twists coming.

The ending left me with goosebumps and a lasting expression on my face what my sister would now call a "What the hell am I going to do with my life now"–face.

A truly interesting, and probably controversial book that I had to write a review about. If you crave a dark suspension driven thriller, this is it. It's also available on Audible if you'd fancy listening to it.
Have you read the book or have you heard of it? What do you think? (Please don't leave any spoilers in the comments – I'm open for those who want to discuss the book with me, though! I'm always available via E-Mail!)

Until then – stay on the look-out,
Arden

So this is awkward. I haven't had much to note for this week's FOTW, instead my list for what I've watched this week on Netflix has gotten really long. But before I show you what I've been watching all week after finally signing up for Netflix, I'll get to the nitty-gritty of what is actually relevant this week.


In the life

– Christmas, eh? I hope everyone is enjoying their holiday. I'm staying at my mother's home and spending some extra time with my family that I otherwise don't see that much. I've got free days from work, so I can truly get some good rest as well. The week has been so busy as I was buying the last few Christmas presents but now it's festive and fun.– I made plans with my best friend for her to come here and spend NYE with me and my family and spend the next day together as well. I'm looking forward to it!
– Slowly I'm turning into Rory as I get more and more motivated to prepare for exams in early February. That will keep me from writing my stories but I am motivated to keep writing as well. Let's see how that turns out.
– I am finally able to invest in a good Blue Yeti microphone as I plan on recording podcasts and maybe even make videos. I want to record covers with the microphone as well. You can't take my word on this but I'm happy to try baby steps!


Reading

Holy moly. I started reading Sebastian Fitzek's 'The Nightwalker' and finished it in less than two days. I'm still stunned and can't wait to post a review on it next week! So stay tuned because this thriller is one of a kind!


A Netflix Watch List


The Social Network 

Harvard student Mark Zuckerberg creates the social networking site that would become known as Facebook, but is later sued by two brothers who claimed he stole their idea, and the co-founder who was later squeezed out of the business.

The Fundamentals Of Caring

A writer (Paul Rudd) retires after a personal tragedy and becomes a disabled teen's caregiver. When the two embark on an impromptu road trip, their ability to cope is tested as they start to understand the importance of hope and friendship.

Naomi And Ely's No Kiss List

Naomi and Ely have loved each other their whole lives, even though Ely isn't exactly into girls. The institution of a "No Kiss List" has prevented the two from rifts in the past, but bonds are tested when they both fall for the same guy.


The Spectacular Now 

A hard-partying high school senior's philosophy on life changes when he meets the not-so-typical "nice girl."

Audrie & Daisy 

In two towns on different sides of America, two teenage girls pass out while intoxicated at high school parties and, while unconscious, both are sexually assaulted by boys they call friends. In the aftermath, the girls each endure online harassment, both attempt suicide, and tragically, one dies. The film explores this new public square of shame from the perspective of the teenagers and their families – including the boys involved in the assaults and the girls willing to speak out publicly.

A Girl Like Her 

A teenager (Lexi Ainsworth) asks her best friend (Jimmy Bennett) to help prove that one of their school's most beautiful and popular students (Hunter King) has secretly been bullying her for the past year.


Have you watched any of these movies? What did you get for Christmas? Hopefully you are all enjoying your holiday and staying joyful and healthy in the cold.

Until then – stay cozy,
Arden

FOTW | A Netflix Watch List

12/25/2016


So this is awkward. I haven't had much to note for this week's FOTW, instead my list for what I've watched this week on Netflix has gotten really long. But before I show you what I've been watching all week after finally signing up for Netflix, I'll get to the nitty-gritty of what is actually relevant this week.


In the life

– Christmas, eh? I hope everyone is enjoying their holiday. I'm staying at my mother's home and spending some extra time with my family that I otherwise don't see that much. I've got free days from work, so I can truly get some good rest as well. The week has been so busy as I was buying the last few Christmas presents but now it's festive and fun.– I made plans with my best friend for her to come here and spend NYE with me and my family and spend the next day together as well. I'm looking forward to it!
– Slowly I'm turning into Rory as I get more and more motivated to prepare for exams in early February. That will keep me from writing my stories but I am motivated to keep writing as well. Let's see how that turns out.
– I am finally able to invest in a good Blue Yeti microphone as I plan on recording podcasts and maybe even make videos. I want to record covers with the microphone as well. You can't take my word on this but I'm happy to try baby steps!


Reading

Holy moly. I started reading Sebastian Fitzek's 'The Nightwalker' and finished it in less than two days. I'm still stunned and can't wait to post a review on it next week! So stay tuned because this thriller is one of a kind!


A Netflix Watch List


The Social Network 

Harvard student Mark Zuckerberg creates the social networking site that would become known as Facebook, but is later sued by two brothers who claimed he stole their idea, and the co-founder who was later squeezed out of the business.

The Fundamentals Of Caring

A writer (Paul Rudd) retires after a personal tragedy and becomes a disabled teen's caregiver. When the two embark on an impromptu road trip, their ability to cope is tested as they start to understand the importance of hope and friendship.

Naomi And Ely's No Kiss List

Naomi and Ely have loved each other their whole lives, even though Ely isn't exactly into girls. The institution of a "No Kiss List" has prevented the two from rifts in the past, but bonds are tested when they both fall for the same guy.


The Spectacular Now 

A hard-partying high school senior's philosophy on life changes when he meets the not-so-typical "nice girl."

Audrie & Daisy 

In two towns on different sides of America, two teenage girls pass out while intoxicated at high school parties and, while unconscious, both are sexually assaulted by boys they call friends. In the aftermath, the girls each endure online harassment, both attempt suicide, and tragically, one dies. The film explores this new public square of shame from the perspective of the teenagers and their families – including the boys involved in the assaults and the girls willing to speak out publicly.

A Girl Like Her 

A teenager (Lexi Ainsworth) asks her best friend (Jimmy Bennett) to help prove that one of their school's most beautiful and popular students (Hunter King) has secretly been bullying her for the past year.


Have you watched any of these movies? What did you get for Christmas? Hopefully you are all enjoying your holiday and staying joyful and healthy in the cold.

Until then – stay cozy,
Arden

Rome, October 2014. I was on a school trip for five days, visiting one town each day: Lake of Garda, Pisa, Rome, Florence and Venice. When we arrived in Rome, we got the awesome opportunity to check out the Vatican Museum. I've always been pretty fascinated by Rome's cultural heritage and their art and architecture so I was happy to take a bunch of photos. Please excuse the grainy, suck-ish quality, back in 2014 I didn't have my Canon yet!





Have you been to Rome or the Vatican Museums yet?

Until then - stay groovy,
Arden

Photo Palette: Inside the Vatican, Rome

12/23/2016


Rome, October 2014. I was on a school trip for five days, visiting one town each day: Lake of Garda, Pisa, Rome, Florence and Venice. When we arrived in Rome, we got the awesome opportunity to check out the Vatican Museum. I've always been pretty fascinated by Rome's cultural heritage and their art and architecture so I was happy to take a bunch of photos. Please excuse the grainy, suck-ish quality, back in 2014 I didn't have my Canon yet!





Have you been to Rome or the Vatican Museums yet?

Until then - stay groovy,
Arden
"Busan-Haeng" film poster
You might have already heard about this and maybe you've even watched it but before I start my rant, I'll give a recap for those who haven't watched the film yet. Don't worry, I won't spoil anything.

Train To Busan is a 2016 South Korean zombie apocalypse horror thriller film which had its premiere at the 2016 Cannes Film Festival in May this year. In August, the film set a record as the first Korean film of 2016 to break the audience record with over 10 million theatre-goers. If you want to watch the trailer with English subtitles, here it is. I won't display the video here because the thumbnail is pretty terrifying, haha. The comment section is full of spoilers though, so beware.

Screen cap of the film
I watched this film online when it came out and I loved it so much that I watched it again with my best friend and again with my sister. What struck me with this film was that it touches on social, political issues and is all about the father's sacrifice for his daughter as well as other relationships and bondings. It is action packed and keeps you on the edge of your seat and its message stays with you for a long time after having watched it.

Germany aired the film in early December for two days and I was so so happy, though I unfortunately couldn't go see it because of my schedule and it was airing rather late in the day as it is a horror film. All I know is that they had dubbed the entire film in German and I was full of pride because this film was the first South-Korean film that made it so far as to where it would be aired overseas here in Germany. At least the first one that I watched and witnessed, so don't take my word! I was also extremely proud because some of my favourite actors were getting recognition and love through this and were praised a lot.

Gong Yoo as Seok-Woo and Ma Dong-Seok as Sang-Hwa
Ahn So-Hee as Jin-Hee
Now it was announced that Hollywood will be making a remake of the film together with the original producing team. Further details aren't out yet but this news was enough for me to begin raging.
I get that going for a remake will boost South-Korea's film industry but to be honest, I am furious. I'm not even kidding, nor am I exaggerating. I loved the film and I despise Hollywood for having to make a remake for the sake of it. They have ruined quite some original films with remakes already and I cannot for the sake of me see why they can't just give credit to the original producers, writers and the cast.

Why can't you just dub the original film and air it? Train To Busan aired in Germany for two days and it was dubbed just fine. Why have to make a remake of a film that is already unbeatable? Oh right, the success is ringing. Money, money, money. Because the cast isn't American? Will you call it Train To New York then? That just doesn't seem right or justified at all and I am saddened to know that many people will probably go watch the film without knowing about the brilliant original version.

The thing is the plot wasn't even the best thing about the film. It was the cast. So needless to say, I'm sure I won't be able to enjoy the remake at all because I am very much biased as the cast was a perfect fit and I doubt that any other cast will bring out the same emotions as they did. No offence to the future cast of the remake but I mean Train To Busan with this very cast was so intense that any other cast will just seem dull to me. Yes, I know, prejudices. I know I shouldn't think this way probably but I'm just being honest with my view.

Choi Woo-Sik as Young-Gook
Film poster
I might be going over the top here because I'm biased but since I've seen and loved it, it's just kind of logical to have this opinion. I'm raging as you can read, haha. Might be amusing for some. It's just that I was so proud of the success this film had and the fact that it was a boom world wide and contained some of my favourite actors in South Korea was just mind blowing to me and filled me with so much pride. And then Hollywood came along and look, they want to do a remake. Sigh.

What do you think? Am I just being a little piece of poo? Or do you see it the same way? Have you watched the film?

Until then - I have to calm down,
Arden

A Rant: Train To Busan & Hollywood Remake

12/22/2016

"Busan-Haeng" film poster
You might have already heard about this and maybe you've even watched it but before I start my rant, I'll give a recap for those who haven't watched the film yet. Don't worry, I won't spoil anything.

Train To Busan is a 2016 South Korean zombie apocalypse horror thriller film which had its premiere at the 2016 Cannes Film Festival in May this year. In August, the film set a record as the first Korean film of 2016 to break the audience record with over 10 million theatre-goers. If you want to watch the trailer with English subtitles, here it is. I won't display the video here because the thumbnail is pretty terrifying, haha. The comment section is full of spoilers though, so beware.

Screen cap of the film
I watched this film online when it came out and I loved it so much that I watched it again with my best friend and again with my sister. What struck me with this film was that it touches on social, political issues and is all about the father's sacrifice for his daughter as well as other relationships and bondings. It is action packed and keeps you on the edge of your seat and its message stays with you for a long time after having watched it.

Germany aired the film in early December for two days and I was so so happy, though I unfortunately couldn't go see it because of my schedule and it was airing rather late in the day as it is a horror film. All I know is that they had dubbed the entire film in German and I was full of pride because this film was the first South-Korean film that made it so far as to where it would be aired overseas here in Germany. At least the first one that I watched and witnessed, so don't take my word! I was also extremely proud because some of my favourite actors were getting recognition and love through this and were praised a lot.

Gong Yoo as Seok-Woo and Ma Dong-Seok as Sang-Hwa
Ahn So-Hee as Jin-Hee
Now it was announced that Hollywood will be making a remake of the film together with the original producing team. Further details aren't out yet but this news was enough for me to begin raging.
I get that going for a remake will boost South-Korea's film industry but to be honest, I am furious. I'm not even kidding, nor am I exaggerating. I loved the film and I despise Hollywood for having to make a remake for the sake of it. They have ruined quite some original films with remakes already and I cannot for the sake of me see why they can't just give credit to the original producers, writers and the cast.

Why can't you just dub the original film and air it? Train To Busan aired in Germany for two days and it was dubbed just fine. Why have to make a remake of a film that is already unbeatable? Oh right, the success is ringing. Money, money, money. Because the cast isn't American? Will you call it Train To New York then? That just doesn't seem right or justified at all and I am saddened to know that many people will probably go watch the film without knowing about the brilliant original version.

The thing is the plot wasn't even the best thing about the film. It was the cast. So needless to say, I'm sure I won't be able to enjoy the remake at all because I am very much biased as the cast was a perfect fit and I doubt that any other cast will bring out the same emotions as they did. No offence to the future cast of the remake but I mean Train To Busan with this very cast was so intense that any other cast will just seem dull to me. Yes, I know, prejudices. I know I shouldn't think this way probably but I'm just being honest with my view.

Choi Woo-Sik as Young-Gook
Film poster
I might be going over the top here because I'm biased but since I've seen and loved it, it's just kind of logical to have this opinion. I'm raging as you can read, haha. Might be amusing for some. It's just that I was so proud of the success this film had and the fact that it was a boom world wide and contained some of my favourite actors in South Korea was just mind blowing to me and filled me with so much pride. And then Hollywood came along and look, they want to do a remake. Sigh.

What do you think? Am I just being a little piece of poo? Or do you see it the same way? Have you watched the film?

Until then - I have to calm down,
Arden

We all have unproductive days. Totally normal. Totally fine! Maybe something happened and threw your schedule out of the window for a bit. Maybe you've been feeling ill. It can be tough to get back on track, especially when you beat yourself up for being unproductive. I know I do. So here's what you do after a totally unproductive day.

Early Bird

Once you realize you wasted your day away, make it a point to wake up earlier the next day and have an early start. You don't have to dive straight into work. Get ready, eat breakfast, read a good book, start the day on a positive note. Don't approach it with the stress of catching up with your tasks, instead slowly prepare and get ready.

Don't Dive

Don't spread yourself too thin by trying to tackle everything. Make a plan and spread your tasks throughout the week. You could work a little longer on some days but don't try to get everything done by one day. If you attempt to and don't get everything done in one day, you'll be more likely to throw off your schedule again. You'll feel as if you have failed yourself and that will get you back to the unproductive mode.

Tidy

Yes, you read that right. Clear the clutter. Tidy up your space, your desk. Take out the trash, wash the dishes, put everything in the right place, water your plants. Once you're doing something so productive physically, you'll get in the mental productive mood for your actual tasks, too. I found that it really helps me. I often just wake up, wash up and then start tidying my flat, then head straight for my desk, sit down and dive into work. The hardest part is to actually start getting active so I think putting away that stuff on your floor first is a great start.

Exercise

If you've been a potato all day before, make it a point to do some workout today. It doesn't have to be anything heavy, some pilates and stretches will suffice. The key is to be active again and not just stay in bed. If you feel like it, get some fresh air and go for a walk or a run outside.

Hope this was somewhat helpful, I know I've had the struggle before multiple times and I absolutely hate feeling so unproductive and lazy (which has only worsened since it's winter). What's your input?

Until then – stay active,
Arden

How To Get Over An Unproductive Day

12/20/2016


We all have unproductive days. Totally normal. Totally fine! Maybe something happened and threw your schedule out of the window for a bit. Maybe you've been feeling ill. It can be tough to get back on track, especially when you beat yourself up for being unproductive. I know I do. So here's what you do after a totally unproductive day.

Early Bird

Once you realize you wasted your day away, make it a point to wake up earlier the next day and have an early start. You don't have to dive straight into work. Get ready, eat breakfast, read a good book, start the day on a positive note. Don't approach it with the stress of catching up with your tasks, instead slowly prepare and get ready.

Don't Dive

Don't spread yourself too thin by trying to tackle everything. Make a plan and spread your tasks throughout the week. You could work a little longer on some days but don't try to get everything done by one day. If you attempt to and don't get everything done in one day, you'll be more likely to throw off your schedule again. You'll feel as if you have failed yourself and that will get you back to the unproductive mode.

Tidy

Yes, you read that right. Clear the clutter. Tidy up your space, your desk. Take out the trash, wash the dishes, put everything in the right place, water your plants. Once you're doing something so productive physically, you'll get in the mental productive mood for your actual tasks, too. I found that it really helps me. I often just wake up, wash up and then start tidying my flat, then head straight for my desk, sit down and dive into work. The hardest part is to actually start getting active so I think putting away that stuff on your floor first is a great start.

Exercise

If you've been a potato all day before, make it a point to do some workout today. It doesn't have to be anything heavy, some pilates and stretches will suffice. The key is to be active again and not just stay in bed. If you feel like it, get some fresh air and go for a walk or a run outside.

Hope this was somewhat helpful, I know I've had the struggle before multiple times and I absolutely hate feeling so unproductive and lazy (which has only worsened since it's winter). What's your input?

Until then – stay active,
Arden


In the life

December is the busiest month in the whole year for me and to be honest I feel quite exhausted and under the weather at the moment. I spent my weekend with my closest friends gift giving and playing Monopoly and singing karaoke and at a dorm party which was fun and most of the activities of this month have been fun but with everything piling up and the whole planning for the new year -- yes, that really has got me stressed out. This year's Christmas isn't really my thing now, I guess. But that's probably because of the situation I'm in mentally that makes it all bothersome. 

You know when you sometimes just want to sleep for a year or so? That's me at the moment. Which is quite depressing and I feel sorry for you readers who have to see/read me like this. But I'm not one for celebrating when I don't feel like it at all. Also, I'm caught up preparing for exam week! Wish me luck :-)


Writing

I'm currently editing and rewriting two of my next books to be self-published, although I still have to update various books on my Wattpad, too. The thing is I'm such a perfectionist when it comes to writing in general, which is why it takes so long for me to actually post a new chapter because I feel differently about my writing every day and have to edit, add some details, delete some passages, rewrite them again ... Now you know why I'm such a horrible, sporadic updater.

I seriously admire those writers who just write and update, write the next and update. They manage to update every few days and keep it up whereas I am just here struggling with myself.


Reading


The Strange Case Of Dr. Jekyll And Mr. Hyde is known for its focus on Dissociative Identity Disorder and I'm currently reading it for research purposes for my story Paper Cuts that is about the condition of having a split personality. The Strange Case Of Dr. Jekyll And Mr. Hyde is a very interesting and gripping novel from the 1880s.


Watching

Dodie's music video for her song Sick Of Losing Soulmates is absolutely lovely and I still adore the song so much.


I absolutely adore Chris Brenner's voice and fell in love with his cover of Death Of A Bachelor. Enjoy!


What have you been doing this week? How's your December going?

Have you signed up for my monthly newsletter yet? Not long ago I sent out my very first one and it looks like you guys enjoyed it. I wrote about how to beat procrastination and gave you some gorgeous wallpapers for your desktop. Make sure you don't miss the next by subscribing in the footer!

Until then – stay warm,
Arden

FOTW | December madness, Writing & Covers

12/19/2016


In the life

December is the busiest month in the whole year for me and to be honest I feel quite exhausted and under the weather at the moment. I spent my weekend with my closest friends gift giving and playing Monopoly and singing karaoke and at a dorm party which was fun and most of the activities of this month have been fun but with everything piling up and the whole planning for the new year -- yes, that really has got me stressed out. This year's Christmas isn't really my thing now, I guess. But that's probably because of the situation I'm in mentally that makes it all bothersome. 

You know when you sometimes just want to sleep for a year or so? That's me at the moment. Which is quite depressing and I feel sorry for you readers who have to see/read me like this. But I'm not one for celebrating when I don't feel like it at all. Also, I'm caught up preparing for exam week! Wish me luck :-)


Writing

I'm currently editing and rewriting two of my next books to be self-published, although I still have to update various books on my Wattpad, too. The thing is I'm such a perfectionist when it comes to writing in general, which is why it takes so long for me to actually post a new chapter because I feel differently about my writing every day and have to edit, add some details, delete some passages, rewrite them again ... Now you know why I'm such a horrible, sporadic updater.

I seriously admire those writers who just write and update, write the next and update. They manage to update every few days and keep it up whereas I am just here struggling with myself.


Reading


The Strange Case Of Dr. Jekyll And Mr. Hyde is known for its focus on Dissociative Identity Disorder and I'm currently reading it for research purposes for my story Paper Cuts that is about the condition of having a split personality. The Strange Case Of Dr. Jekyll And Mr. Hyde is a very interesting and gripping novel from the 1880s.


Watching

Dodie's music video for her song Sick Of Losing Soulmates is absolutely lovely and I still adore the song so much.


I absolutely adore Chris Brenner's voice and fell in love with his cover of Death Of A Bachelor. Enjoy!


What have you been doing this week? How's your December going?

Have you signed up for my monthly newsletter yet? Not long ago I sent out my very first one and it looks like you guys enjoyed it. I wrote about how to beat procrastination and gave you some gorgeous wallpapers for your desktop. Make sure you don't miss the next by subscribing in the footer!

Until then – stay warm,
Arden

With the sun rising late and setting early, this depressing weather can taint your mood easily. I know it does for me. Little things add up, don't they. Generally happy people are not happy all the time. Stuff happens, we get caught up, we get upset, we toss and turn and forget about the really important things in life. Here's what could help you put you in a better mood. 

Stop thinking in terms of "should"

Thinking in terms of 'should' will ruin a lot of things for you, frankly. You're putting pressure on yourself and that will make you feel anxious about yourself and your circumstances. Let it all happen. Heck, don't even have expectations and try to make the best out of everything as it happens. Don't put yourself down because you think you should do this or be that.

Think of the bigger picture

In many situations we tend to be blind when it comes to 'ways out' or other perspectives because we feel like we're in a pit and we feel bad and there's no way out of it. This is why I like talking to people about my situation because most of the time they provide me with other points of views and other perspectives that I can consider. Starting to distance yourself from your situation and taking a look on it from a further perspective will truly put things into perspective. Talk about it. Write pro and contra lists. Think about what advice you would give yourself if you were your friend.

Show gratitude

What helped me a lot (and I didn't think it would) when I was going through a heartbreak was telling everyone I loved that I loved and appreciated them. I texted and called them and made sure they knew that I was glad to have them in my life. Their responses very incredibly sweet and uplifting so that I started to realize how much positivity I'm actually surrounded with and I just didn't see. Show gratitude for everything that is positive in your life. You'll come to realize that these things and these people weigh more than the negative things if you were to balance them on a scale.

Look for positive things

Don't surround yourself with negativity. Get out of town for a while if you feel like the town you live in right now is filled with negative thoughts and situations. One of my guy friends had a couple misfortunes happening in his town and told me that it is now tainted with so many mishaps that he constantly felt like he was drowning in negativity. I told him to get out of town and visit his parents, his old friends, go on a trip or a vacation. So get out of the negative zone if you can. Do the things that you love. Watch what you love. Listen to what you love. Meet up with friends that make you feel good.

Get in a work out

A work out can be a great distraction and really get that blood pumping. You'll let go of the energy that is bundled up in yourself that negative thoughts often suppress. Go for a run, do pilates or cardio, dance around for 20 minutes ... You get the gist. And after that have a nice long shower.


Help others

Even though I'm down on my own, I'll feel good when helping others with their problems and at least listening to their problems. Friends have told me how grateful they were when I got around to their house when they called me when they were upset. Knowing that you were there for your friends and did them good is a wonderful feeling that instantly makes me feel better, for them and about myself.


Take a nap

Negativity can have many factors and a big one is anxiety that I face a lot these days. I'm not really sure why but sometimes you just feel overwhelmed and done with. Sleeping it out helps me sometimes.


Write down negative thoughts

I can't support this one enough: Start journaling! It doesn't have to be a permanent, constant routine. Jot down your negative thoughts. Jot down anything and let your mind wander. Even if there's nothing you feel like it's worth jotting down. Just do it and at some point you'll be rambling and rambling and letting go of the thought clutter in your brain. Let it go.

What do you do when you're down and trying to feel better again?

Until then - stay cozy,
Hannie Arden

Ways To Be More Positive Asap

12/13/2016


With the sun rising late and setting early, this depressing weather can taint your mood easily. I know it does for me. Little things add up, don't they. Generally happy people are not happy all the time. Stuff happens, we get caught up, we get upset, we toss and turn and forget about the really important things in life. Here's what could help you put you in a better mood. 

Stop thinking in terms of "should"

Thinking in terms of 'should' will ruin a lot of things for you, frankly. You're putting pressure on yourself and that will make you feel anxious about yourself and your circumstances. Let it all happen. Heck, don't even have expectations and try to make the best out of everything as it happens. Don't put yourself down because you think you should do this or be that.

Think of the bigger picture

In many situations we tend to be blind when it comes to 'ways out' or other perspectives because we feel like we're in a pit and we feel bad and there's no way out of it. This is why I like talking to people about my situation because most of the time they provide me with other points of views and other perspectives that I can consider. Starting to distance yourself from your situation and taking a look on it from a further perspective will truly put things into perspective. Talk about it. Write pro and contra lists. Think about what advice you would give yourself if you were your friend.

Show gratitude

What helped me a lot (and I didn't think it would) when I was going through a heartbreak was telling everyone I loved that I loved and appreciated them. I texted and called them and made sure they knew that I was glad to have them in my life. Their responses very incredibly sweet and uplifting so that I started to realize how much positivity I'm actually surrounded with and I just didn't see. Show gratitude for everything that is positive in your life. You'll come to realize that these things and these people weigh more than the negative things if you were to balance them on a scale.

Look for positive things

Don't surround yourself with negativity. Get out of town for a while if you feel like the town you live in right now is filled with negative thoughts and situations. One of my guy friends had a couple misfortunes happening in his town and told me that it is now tainted with so many mishaps that he constantly felt like he was drowning in negativity. I told him to get out of town and visit his parents, his old friends, go on a trip or a vacation. So get out of the negative zone if you can. Do the things that you love. Watch what you love. Listen to what you love. Meet up with friends that make you feel good.

Get in a work out

A work out can be a great distraction and really get that blood pumping. You'll let go of the energy that is bundled up in yourself that negative thoughts often suppress. Go for a run, do pilates or cardio, dance around for 20 minutes ... You get the gist. And after that have a nice long shower.


Help others

Even though I'm down on my own, I'll feel good when helping others with their problems and at least listening to their problems. Friends have told me how grateful they were when I got around to their house when they called me when they were upset. Knowing that you were there for your friends and did them good is a wonderful feeling that instantly makes me feel better, for them and about myself.


Take a nap

Negativity can have many factors and a big one is anxiety that I face a lot these days. I'm not really sure why but sometimes you just feel overwhelmed and done with. Sleeping it out helps me sometimes.


Write down negative thoughts

I can't support this one enough: Start journaling! It doesn't have to be a permanent, constant routine. Jot down your negative thoughts. Jot down anything and let your mind wander. Even if there's nothing you feel like it's worth jotting down. Just do it and at some point you'll be rambling and rambling and letting go of the thought clutter in your brain. Let it go.

What do you do when you're down and trying to feel better again?

Until then - stay cozy,
Hannie Arden
Squeezing this post right in because I'm in love with these pieces and needed to share!

01 / 02 / 03 / 04 / 05 / 06 / 07 / 08

Which pick is your favourite? What's in your wish list for your wardrobe this winter?

Until then - stay groovy,
Arden

YesStyle Winter Fashion Wishlist

12/11/2016

Squeezing this post right in because I'm in love with these pieces and needed to share!

01 / 02 / 03 / 04 / 05 / 06 / 07 / 08

Which pick is your favourite? What's in your wish list for your wardrobe this winter?

Until then - stay groovy,
Arden

So winter is here and Christmas is coming although the weather here in Dresden makes it seem like autumn still. Blogmas and Vlogmas (especially 24 Days of Zoella) definitely help me get in the Christmassy mood, though I've got to be honest, I'm not quite there yet. :-( Maybe it's because everything is kind of messy in my head at the moment or it's because of the lack of snow. I don't know why that is but deep inside, I know I'm quite excited about this festive season!


In the life

– I started going to therapy as I've been feeling off for half a year and I'm positive it's going to go well!
– I wrote my first exam in Hotel Management this last week. I'll be honest and tell you that I only started studying the day before. DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME, KIDS. Still kind of survived.
– I started decluttering! I'm going to leave in March for 6 months in lovely London so I have to get rid of a few (many) things. I want to turn my life upside down with this process too and stop waste. If you would like to read a post about this, let me know!


Shows

Hello Counselor is a South-Korean reality talk show where guests express their concerns and the hosts will try and solve them by interviewing and discussing with the persons concerned. No special reason why I started to watch this, I guess I just like getting shocked and intrigued by problems of others. K-Pop idols guest-host as well which makes it even more fun.
Gilmore Girls. Yes, I jumped onto the bandwagon. I haven't gotten far yet as I am quite busy at the moment but for now I'm enjoying it. I did enjoy it back in the day already, but never watched from beginning to the end.
Teen Wolf is back with another jaw dropping season and can I just say, Stiles Stilinski, I miss your face on my screen! I can't wait to see how they will figure out how to bring him back.

Gilmore Girls. Currently finishing the first season. 
Scott & Stiles. Can I just mention how hard I swoon over Dylan O'Brien?
Links

– This White Christmas Mojito is amazing and makes a wonderful festive drink!

– Discovered a new lovely blog!

– Maybe you feel under the weather, here's a post to help!

– How about a homemade Pumpkin Spice Latte?

– Treat yourself to a cozy morning by listening to my acoustic morning playlist.

Even though I'm feeling under the weather at the moment, I'll work my hardest to post regularly. What have you been doing this week? Did you go Christmas shopping yet?

Until then - stay warm,
Arden

FOTW | Vlogmas, Shows & Spice Lattes

12/10/2016


So winter is here and Christmas is coming although the weather here in Dresden makes it seem like autumn still. Blogmas and Vlogmas (especially 24 Days of Zoella) definitely help me get in the Christmassy mood, though I've got to be honest, I'm not quite there yet. :-( Maybe it's because everything is kind of messy in my head at the moment or it's because of the lack of snow. I don't know why that is but deep inside, I know I'm quite excited about this festive season!


In the life

– I started going to therapy as I've been feeling off for half a year and I'm positive it's going to go well!
– I wrote my first exam in Hotel Management this last week. I'll be honest and tell you that I only started studying the day before. DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME, KIDS. Still kind of survived.
– I started decluttering! I'm going to leave in March for 6 months in lovely London so I have to get rid of a few (many) things. I want to turn my life upside down with this process too and stop waste. If you would like to read a post about this, let me know!


Shows

Hello Counselor is a South-Korean reality talk show where guests express their concerns and the hosts will try and solve them by interviewing and discussing with the persons concerned. No special reason why I started to watch this, I guess I just like getting shocked and intrigued by problems of others. K-Pop idols guest-host as well which makes it even more fun.
Gilmore Girls. Yes, I jumped onto the bandwagon. I haven't gotten far yet as I am quite busy at the moment but for now I'm enjoying it. I did enjoy it back in the day already, but never watched from beginning to the end.
Teen Wolf is back with another jaw dropping season and can I just say, Stiles Stilinski, I miss your face on my screen! I can't wait to see how they will figure out how to bring him back.

Gilmore Girls. Currently finishing the first season. 
Scott & Stiles. Can I just mention how hard I swoon over Dylan O'Brien?
Links

– This White Christmas Mojito is amazing and makes a wonderful festive drink!

– Discovered a new lovely blog!

– Maybe you feel under the weather, here's a post to help!

– How about a homemade Pumpkin Spice Latte?

– Treat yourself to a cozy morning by listening to my acoustic morning playlist.

Even though I'm feeling under the weather at the moment, I'll work my hardest to post regularly. What have you been doing this week? Did you go Christmas shopping yet?

Until then - stay warm,
Arden

I just had my first therapy session this morning. I'm sat in uni now as I type this. It's been a while since I took the big step to seek help in October and now I finally had my first session for evaluation. I am very thankful for my best friend for pushing me to do this. This was a good idea. Possibly the best idea that ever came across me in my life.

It was a funny, nervous feeling when I was sat in the waiting room and the moment the door opened and I was welcomed in, I felt as if I was taking a step to feeling better. I have hope. I have hope everything will be resolved more or less and it might take some time but I'm not alone and my therapist and I, we will work through my concerns and thoughts.

I feel positive for once. For the first time in a long while, I walk the streets feeling relieved. I have hope. I can taste it in the air even though I can't fully grasp it yet. As I explained my circumstances to my therapist, I realized how long I've been feeling this way already. Half a year. I didn't know when it started to happen since my surroundings would tell me, I wouldn't have thought about having something going on with me if they wouldn't have pointed it out.

Haven't you slept well? Something wrong? Everything o.k.? You can talk to me about it if you want to. I'm here to listen. Something bothering you?

What has been my answer all along? Something vague like "Um, no, everything is alright? I think? I don't know."

"But how come you look so sad? And tired? Lifeless even."

"Sorry, didn't notice. Must be just tired."

I wasn't even covering anything up. I really honestly didn't know. And I still don't. Thing is, I cried. I sat there with a cup of tea that was offered to me and my therapist that I hadn't known for any more than 10 minutes had struck a nerve while asking me basic questions to get to know me. At one point I broke and she realized that there was a point that triggered me immediately. I didn't even have to say anything and I didn't get to explain because I burst out crying. That was my first session, everyone. You sit there and suddenly feel overwhelmed and you cry because you realize there is a problem that makes you feel this way.

Some of you asked me what I "have". Which is a validated question because if I talk about my wellbeing and therapy freely on my blog, I have to expect to receive this question. I'm not sure what it is yet. It could be a mixture of depression and derealisation but that is only a self-diagnosis that nobody should ever do. Don't diagnose yourself. So I'm waiting for my therapist to know me better because oh goodness me, I have no clue what's going on in my head, honestly. It could be something completely different. All I know is that it keeps dragging me down, even in moments when I could be so so so happy out of my mind.

I was a mess. Truly. But I felt relieved. So relieved. After that I walked to the bus station with my mind floating but feeling a little bit more liberated. I had let go of something. And it felt strangely different from when I opened up to my best friend. So so different.
But this was a good idea. I actually look forward to the next sessions. And it relieves me to know that I can ask my therapist everything and anything. And I'm allowed to say everything without feeling like I'm badmouthing anyone.

At the end of the day I'll be feeling better. I'll understand myself better. Heck, I needed to take this step. I'm glad I did. 

Going To Therapy: Step II

12/09/2016


I just had my first therapy session this morning. I'm sat in uni now as I type this. It's been a while since I took the big step to seek help in October and now I finally had my first session for evaluation. I am very thankful for my best friend for pushing me to do this. This was a good idea. Possibly the best idea that ever came across me in my life.

It was a funny, nervous feeling when I was sat in the waiting room and the moment the door opened and I was welcomed in, I felt as if I was taking a step to feeling better. I have hope. I have hope everything will be resolved more or less and it might take some time but I'm not alone and my therapist and I, we will work through my concerns and thoughts.

I feel positive for once. For the first time in a long while, I walk the streets feeling relieved. I have hope. I can taste it in the air even though I can't fully grasp it yet. As I explained my circumstances to my therapist, I realized how long I've been feeling this way already. Half a year. I didn't know when it started to happen since my surroundings would tell me, I wouldn't have thought about having something going on with me if they wouldn't have pointed it out.

Haven't you slept well? Something wrong? Everything o.k.? You can talk to me about it if you want to. I'm here to listen. Something bothering you?

What has been my answer all along? Something vague like "Um, no, everything is alright? I think? I don't know."

"But how come you look so sad? And tired? Lifeless even."

"Sorry, didn't notice. Must be just tired."

I wasn't even covering anything up. I really honestly didn't know. And I still don't. Thing is, I cried. I sat there with a cup of tea that was offered to me and my therapist that I hadn't known for any more than 10 minutes had struck a nerve while asking me basic questions to get to know me. At one point I broke and she realized that there was a point that triggered me immediately. I didn't even have to say anything and I didn't get to explain because I burst out crying. That was my first session, everyone. You sit there and suddenly feel overwhelmed and you cry because you realize there is a problem that makes you feel this way.

Some of you asked me what I "have". Which is a validated question because if I talk about my wellbeing and therapy freely on my blog, I have to expect to receive this question. I'm not sure what it is yet. It could be a mixture of depression and derealisation but that is only a self-diagnosis that nobody should ever do. Don't diagnose yourself. So I'm waiting for my therapist to know me better because oh goodness me, I have no clue what's going on in my head, honestly. It could be something completely different. All I know is that it keeps dragging me down, even in moments when I could be so so so happy out of my mind.

I was a mess. Truly. But I felt relieved. So relieved. After that I walked to the bus station with my mind floating but feeling a little bit more liberated. I had let go of something. And it felt strangely different from when I opened up to my best friend. So so different.
But this was a good idea. I actually look forward to the next sessions. And it relieves me to know that I can ask my therapist everything and anything. And I'm allowed to say everything without feeling like I'm badmouthing anyone.

At the end of the day I'll be feeling better. I'll understand myself better. Heck, I needed to take this step. I'm glad I did. 

How are you doing, loves? As you may know, I recently turned 20 and got some presents! My mum went to H&M on Black Friday and got me a few cute gems. She got me a black and white flannel blouse because she just knows me so well, a new phone case that I absolutely adore (and needed because I had just broken my old one), a big dark red ribbon hair clip (so cute!) and dark grey gloves that are perfect for me because I always have cold hands but don't want to put gloves on because then I can't type away on my phone. Now I can :-)

What did you treat yourself with for the upcoming winter?

Until then - stay groovy,
Arden

New-Ins: H&M

12/05/2016


How are you doing, loves? As you may know, I recently turned 20 and got some presents! My mum went to H&M on Black Friday and got me a few cute gems. She got me a black and white flannel blouse because she just knows me so well, a new phone case that I absolutely adore (and needed because I had just broken my old one), a big dark red ribbon hair clip (so cute!) and dark grey gloves that are perfect for me because I always have cold hands but don't want to put gloves on because then I can't type away on my phone. Now I can :-)

What did you treat yourself with for the upcoming winter?

Until then - stay groovy,
Arden

I figured I would finally share what I've been raging about since last week. So here it is. The long awaited first anthology of my poetry and photography. This piece is called "naked as we came" and it's now available in paperback in colour!

I cannot believe this. I cannot believe this is happening. It's not a big deal, I mean, to me it is, but objectively speaking, I am self publishing my books which any person out there could do with their own writing, no matter what genre.

But I still feel proud of myself. This is a thing that I did. This is what I created. And nobody can take it away from me. So I'm celebrating my first self-published book and will shamelessly be proud of myself as if I was discovered. And not hiding how excited I am to have it in my hands and actually physically feel my writing. This is insane.

Unfortunately self-publishing means it will not be available in local bookstores or anything. But this is still great as I am publishing with Blurb and they ship worldwide so I hope all of you are indeed able to have access to it! You'll find a preview of the first 15 pages of the book as well. It will be available in colour (because of the photographs). If you decide to buy it and receive it and read it, please give me your feedback and maybe tweet me a picture with it for me on Twitter!

Thank you all for being so supportive of my writing, whether that is on Wattpad or on my blog. I feel so lucky and grateful each day to hear from readers that I touched their hearts with some syllables. And this is something I will never stop trying.

Until then - stay groovy,
Arden

Publishing: My first anthology

12/04/2016


I figured I would finally share what I've been raging about since last week. So here it is. The long awaited first anthology of my poetry and photography. This piece is called "naked as we came" and it's now available in paperback in colour!

I cannot believe this. I cannot believe this is happening. It's not a big deal, I mean, to me it is, but objectively speaking, I am self publishing my books which any person out there could do with their own writing, no matter what genre.

But I still feel proud of myself. This is a thing that I did. This is what I created. And nobody can take it away from me. So I'm celebrating my first self-published book and will shamelessly be proud of myself as if I was discovered. And not hiding how excited I am to have it in my hands and actually physically feel my writing. This is insane.

Unfortunately self-publishing means it will not be available in local bookstores or anything. But this is still great as I am publishing with Blurb and they ship worldwide so I hope all of you are indeed able to have access to it! You'll find a preview of the first 15 pages of the book as well. It will be available in colour (because of the photographs). If you decide to buy it and receive it and read it, please give me your feedback and maybe tweet me a picture with it for me on Twitter!

Thank you all for being so supportive of my writing, whether that is on Wattpad or on my blog. I feel so lucky and grateful each day to hear from readers that I touched their hearts with some syllables. And this is something I will never stop trying.

Until then - stay groovy,
Arden

"My friends tell me to cut ties with him but I don't think I'm strong enough to do that. I'm so tired of feeling this way. It's been going on for too long, I need to get over him."

I'm far from knowing everything. We as humans learn something new every day. And I'm only twenty so I'm only as wise as I can be. And others might give you different advice. You are in a quite complicated situation, but maybe it's not too complicated. It hurts. I believe you and I guarantee you this hurts. And my advice will hurt and it will hurt if you follow my advice. But look, it is hurting you already. You are struggling because you're holding onto someone because they're obviously important to you and they once made you feel good and giddy and in love and appreciated.

But the thing is that person can't give you what you want to make you happy. They're here, having them in your life seems like the most reasonable thing because it's them. But even though you love them, you should always love yourself as well. Even more. Respect yourself. Respect your happiness. Even though that means sacrificing something and someone and abandoning a walk of temporary, devastating "happiness". You're better off without them. Trust me. You have friends who are there for you, who actually care about you and your happiness. You don't need that person in your life. You have the choice of keeping or letting go of people, knowing what is best for your happiness.

1. Have a chat with them. You already had a chat with them, I suppose. And you're pretty sure it's the only way. Meaning: they're not going to change their mind and you shouldn't feel like you should change yourself to match their style or anything. It's not worth it.

2. Don't torture yourself. Delete them off Facebook, Twitter, any social media site. Don't torture yourself by seeing them on your dashboard and timeline. You'll see things that will hurt you and that will make your overthink everything on a hightened note. Don't do this to yourself, it's adding salt to the wound.

3. Remind yourself of what you have (friends, family, support they can smother you with) and that it will be better in the long run. Invest in the friendships and relationships to other people that make you happy, that are healthy, that you can rely on. Don't be afraid of bothering them. Nobody can do this alone and nobody should have to. And remember always - in the long run, in a few months or in a year, you will feel fine. You will see this as a memory. You'll be okay. And this will be a good decision. A painful one but definitely the most healthy one.

4. Cry. Let it out. Everything. If you want to cry and you started crying whilst reading this, cry. Seriously, you can't just keep this inside. Cry on a friend's shoulder, cry until you fall asleep. This is hurting. This is painful experience and you're going through a lot of emotions. It's fine. This is process. Cry.

5. Give yourself time. It's not a quick fix. It's hard. I'm sorry. But give yourself time to process this and get over this person. Of course you can't forget them. But one day you'll accept that it just didn't work out. Even though it could've been something great. It doesn't always work out between two people. And that's fine. You'll manage and you'll be okay.
I hope this will help a little bit. It's always good to get an objective view on things when you're blinded by the pain you're going through right now. And I hope I could give that to you. I love you and remember you'll be fine!

If you, my readers, have more advice for this lovely lady, leave them below! Let's help out as much as we can. People who go through the same thing will possibly read this and scroll through comments as well. Let's help together.

Until then - stay lovely,
Arden

How to cut ties with someone / get over someone

12/02/2016


"My friends tell me to cut ties with him but I don't think I'm strong enough to do that. I'm so tired of feeling this way. It's been going on for too long, I need to get over him."

I'm far from knowing everything. We as humans learn something new every day. And I'm only twenty so I'm only as wise as I can be. And others might give you different advice. You are in a quite complicated situation, but maybe it's not too complicated. It hurts. I believe you and I guarantee you this hurts. And my advice will hurt and it will hurt if you follow my advice. But look, it is hurting you already. You are struggling because you're holding onto someone because they're obviously important to you and they once made you feel good and giddy and in love and appreciated.

But the thing is that person can't give you what you want to make you happy. They're here, having them in your life seems like the most reasonable thing because it's them. But even though you love them, you should always love yourself as well. Even more. Respect yourself. Respect your happiness. Even though that means sacrificing something and someone and abandoning a walk of temporary, devastating "happiness". You're better off without them. Trust me. You have friends who are there for you, who actually care about you and your happiness. You don't need that person in your life. You have the choice of keeping or letting go of people, knowing what is best for your happiness.

1. Have a chat with them. You already had a chat with them, I suppose. And you're pretty sure it's the only way. Meaning: they're not going to change their mind and you shouldn't feel like you should change yourself to match their style or anything. It's not worth it.

2. Don't torture yourself. Delete them off Facebook, Twitter, any social media site. Don't torture yourself by seeing them on your dashboard and timeline. You'll see things that will hurt you and that will make your overthink everything on a hightened note. Don't do this to yourself, it's adding salt to the wound.

3. Remind yourself of what you have (friends, family, support they can smother you with) and that it will be better in the long run. Invest in the friendships and relationships to other people that make you happy, that are healthy, that you can rely on. Don't be afraid of bothering them. Nobody can do this alone and nobody should have to. And remember always - in the long run, in a few months or in a year, you will feel fine. You will see this as a memory. You'll be okay. And this will be a good decision. A painful one but definitely the most healthy one.

4. Cry. Let it out. Everything. If you want to cry and you started crying whilst reading this, cry. Seriously, you can't just keep this inside. Cry on a friend's shoulder, cry until you fall asleep. This is hurting. This is painful experience and you're going through a lot of emotions. It's fine. This is process. Cry.

5. Give yourself time. It's not a quick fix. It's hard. I'm sorry. But give yourself time to process this and get over this person. Of course you can't forget them. But one day you'll accept that it just didn't work out. Even though it could've been something great. It doesn't always work out between two people. And that's fine. You'll manage and you'll be okay.
I hope this will help a little bit. It's always good to get an objective view on things when you're blinded by the pain you're going through right now. And I hope I could give that to you. I love you and remember you'll be fine!

If you, my readers, have more advice for this lovely lady, leave them below! Let's help out as much as we can. People who go through the same thing will possibly read this and scroll through comments as well. Let's help together.

Until then - stay lovely,
Arden

Do you ever feel like you're kind of ignoring yourself and pushing yourself too hard? You'll notice in the long run and one day you find yourself exhausted, not only physically but mentally as well. Sometimes we dissociate ourselves from our true, inner voices to hurry after our schedules and tests and responsibilites in life. Maybe you don't even really know who you are and are trying to figure it out.

Meditate  

I always preach about meditating because I relax the best with this procedure. But it's not only to let loose of emotions and worries, there's also this method where you hold onto your thoughts and not just shake them away. Let your thoughts run through your head until they come at you one by one, and just let them. Let yourself really think about things. Even if the thoughts hurt and you really don't want to think about them. Let them sink in. And let the next thought come around. Once no thought comes at you anymore, you will know your current situation and mood better and understand which thoughts stir you or bother you the most.

Journal

Start journaling! Even if you don't get to write every day, having a journal when you need to vent or rant is amazing. You can use your note app on your phone for texts, too. Fairly easy, isn't it? Write your thoughts down as if you were suffering from brain-diarrhea and let it out. It doesn't have to make sense and you don't have to explain or restrict or justify yourself. Read it back a day, a week, a year from now. You'll see how you change and grow every day and what you used to think about life and how your view shifted.

Read

Sometimes the books you like the most are those that had the biggest impact on you. That says something about you. Also reading can help finding yourself since at times you can't put your feelings into words or understand them properly but instead you will nod at someone else's words.

Say yes to experience

Try out new things and explore what you like and dislike. Do things you haven't done before. Be more spontaneous. And then see for yourself what kind of person you are. What your preferred environment is, whether you actually like partying or prefer staying home with friends and a glass of wine instead. You don't really need a big revelation to realize what your true self is. It's the smaller things, the things you touch on step by step.

What's your true self? What does it tell you?

Until then - stay groovy,
Arden

Small Changes That Will Connect You To Your True Self

12/01/2016


Do you ever feel like you're kind of ignoring yourself and pushing yourself too hard? You'll notice in the long run and one day you find yourself exhausted, not only physically but mentally as well. Sometimes we dissociate ourselves from our true, inner voices to hurry after our schedules and tests and responsibilites in life. Maybe you don't even really know who you are and are trying to figure it out.

Meditate  

I always preach about meditating because I relax the best with this procedure. But it's not only to let loose of emotions and worries, there's also this method where you hold onto your thoughts and not just shake them away. Let your thoughts run through your head until they come at you one by one, and just let them. Let yourself really think about things. Even if the thoughts hurt and you really don't want to think about them. Let them sink in. And let the next thought come around. Once no thought comes at you anymore, you will know your current situation and mood better and understand which thoughts stir you or bother you the most.

Journal

Start journaling! Even if you don't get to write every day, having a journal when you need to vent or rant is amazing. You can use your note app on your phone for texts, too. Fairly easy, isn't it? Write your thoughts down as if you were suffering from brain-diarrhea and let it out. It doesn't have to make sense and you don't have to explain or restrict or justify yourself. Read it back a day, a week, a year from now. You'll see how you change and grow every day and what you used to think about life and how your view shifted.

Read

Sometimes the books you like the most are those that had the biggest impact on you. That says something about you. Also reading can help finding yourself since at times you can't put your feelings into words or understand them properly but instead you will nod at someone else's words.

Say yes to experience

Try out new things and explore what you like and dislike. Do things you haven't done before. Be more spontaneous. And then see for yourself what kind of person you are. What your preferred environment is, whether you actually like partying or prefer staying home with friends and a glass of wine instead. You don't really need a big revelation to realize what your true self is. It's the smaller things, the things you touch on step by step.

What's your true self? What does it tell you?

Until then - stay groovy,
Arden

My Journey In Pictures

© Missing Wanderer. All rights reserved. Design by Fearne.