So what have I been up to this August? I've been moving! That's basically everything, to be honest. A major change nevertheless. I moved from an 18 qm small flat into a 30 qm big flat in the same building. Luckily I didn't have to carry much around or drive around town. I basically just had to push things down the hall to move my stuff in my new flat. But since it's much bigger now, I bought a lot of new things as well, so in the end I did end up driving around town anyway. Now everything is in place and looking pretty. A flat tour is coming soon!

By the way, today is this blog's 1st anniversairy! This is crazy, to be honest. I've been writing on here for a year now (and probably about 4 years on and off on multiple other blogs). And to celebrate it, I've changed the design to unclutter my blog. Hopefully it worked and hopefully you'll like it! Now onto the faves this month:

  • This Modern Love by Will Darbyshire. Wonderful, relatable book, consisting of messages from all over the world. Great writing and heartwrenching context about love, loving and longing and leaving. Inspired me to write a letter to my crush and actually send it. He received it.
  • I finally purchased my Kanken Backpack because it was on sale on Amazon when I looked it up a few weeks back and I am in love! I love how light it feels on my back and I'm not kidding, all the stuff feels much heavier on my other backpacks - probably because I've only ever had one quality backpack so far. It looks small but I swear by its quality. Now my Kanken is my best friend wherever I go.
  • Since I'm still on semester break, I've started to watch the show Dexter and am already almost through. My friends told me to leave the second half of Season 8 be because I'd be disappointed so I am kind of pushing that back a bit. But the show itself is seriously addicting! The show is basically about a forensics expert who works for the police but at the same time hunts down serial killers - to murder them before they can get caught.
  • I've been enjoying the game apps Memorado and Peak lately! Both are brain training games and they're free! If you feel like keeping your brain active and quickywitty, you should totally try these as they have simple but fun exercises.You can download them on the App Store and Google Play. 
What have you been up to this month? 

Until then - stay groovy,
Arden

August Update + Favourites

8/31/2016


So what have I been up to this August? I've been moving! That's basically everything, to be honest. A major change nevertheless. I moved from an 18 qm small flat into a 30 qm big flat in the same building. Luckily I didn't have to carry much around or drive around town. I basically just had to push things down the hall to move my stuff in my new flat. But since it's much bigger now, I bought a lot of new things as well, so in the end I did end up driving around town anyway. Now everything is in place and looking pretty. A flat tour is coming soon!

By the way, today is this blog's 1st anniversairy! This is crazy, to be honest. I've been writing on here for a year now (and probably about 4 years on and off on multiple other blogs). And to celebrate it, I've changed the design to unclutter my blog. Hopefully it worked and hopefully you'll like it! Now onto the faves this month:

  • This Modern Love by Will Darbyshire. Wonderful, relatable book, consisting of messages from all over the world. Great writing and heartwrenching context about love, loving and longing and leaving. Inspired me to write a letter to my crush and actually send it. He received it.
  • I finally purchased my Kanken Backpack because it was on sale on Amazon when I looked it up a few weeks back and I am in love! I love how light it feels on my back and I'm not kidding, all the stuff feels much heavier on my other backpacks - probably because I've only ever had one quality backpack so far. It looks small but I swear by its quality. Now my Kanken is my best friend wherever I go.
  • Since I'm still on semester break, I've started to watch the show Dexter and am already almost through. My friends told me to leave the second half of Season 8 be because I'd be disappointed so I am kind of pushing that back a bit. But the show itself is seriously addicting! The show is basically about a forensics expert who works for the police but at the same time hunts down serial killers - to murder them before they can get caught.
  • I've been enjoying the game apps Memorado and Peak lately! Both are brain training games and they're free! If you feel like keeping your brain active and quickywitty, you should totally try these as they have simple but fun exercises.You can download them on the App Store and Google Play. 
What have you been up to this month? 

Until then - stay groovy,
Arden


Moving out from my parents' home and moving to a whole new town for college meant a huge deal to me, not only because I was throwing myself into a completely new situation of life and starting something that I've never known before, but also because I had much more responsibilities then and I only slowly realized how serious it actually was.

A very important and at times problematic point was that I had to take care of my own finances. I didn't have to deal with all of that before as my mother would take care of the finances in the household and just teached me how much money I could or could not spend. She was the one planning how much and what groceries to buy, she was the one paying the bills for our home, for our education, for electricity, the Internet.

And then I started my own household in my very own flat and kind of went crazy. I was terrible at my spendings and constantly felt bad. I don't have a shopping addiction or anything but I kind of just lost the control over the money that I had and the money that I gave away.

So mum helped me figure everything out and now I'm definitely doing better because now I'm actually also saving a lot more. If you're struggling with the same thing or want to prevent struggling with finances from the very beginning, this might help you!

Also note that this is a college student's guide to sorting out finances! I am pretty sure there are many more things about finances to deal with once I get older but this guide is what I put together from what I learned as a college student.


Jot down your expenses


The easiest thing is probably to jot down all your expenses first, preferably in a month. There are bills you have to pay, maybe tuitions, the Internet at your place, any flatrates for your phone. The mandatory stuff, you know?

And then add expenses you have when going grocery shopping, stationary shopping or clothes shopping. You should only add the necessary stuff like food, drinks, healthcare like medications and birth control pills, etc.

Other expenses like entertainment (cinema, clubs, theatre, museum visits, gallery visits, opera, sports), trips, books, clothes should be considered to be the expenses that you can make if you have no problem covering the mandatory costs.

So let's say your mandatory costs consist of electricity bills, rent, phone flatrate, the internet, food, drinks and healthcare and college tuition, you'll have to make sure you can cover all those before you go and buy that bag that you've had on your wishlist.

Making sure you can cover your necessary expenses first will help you see how much money you actually still have at the end of the day that you can spend on other things.

Jot down your income


After adding up your expenses, it's time to see how much income you make in a month. That's your salary from your part time job, financial help from your parents, support from the government for education and any extra income from your blog, your Youtube channel, spons and your selling on Etsy or Amazon.

Adding that all together, you'll have an overview of how much you can cover with the income you do have. The money you have left should be the only money you should grab to buy other things that are not too necessary but you'd like to buy. I would suggest always leaving some financial buffer for emergencies or for savings.

Keeping some money for your savings each month is great as well! It can be 50€, it can be just 5€, it doesn't matter.

Keep tracks of your expenses


I would suggest to keep all receipts every day and at the end of the day go through all of them and jot them down on a list so you won't forget. I know my cash card doesn't update its expenses during weekends so I tend to believe that I still have those 120€ left on the card when I've actually already spent 30€ of it. That mistake can result in a negative status which never looks good. So be on the safe side and note every expense you've made and calculate how much you still have.


An app to help with that




Spendee! I've used Spendee ever since I moved out and it is a cute app that helps you track your expenses. It's super easy. Basically you add a balance of how much money you have at the time you start using the app and each time you spend money on something, you'll add a transaction.

You easily press on a button to add a transaction or an income, then it will let you categorize that spending / income and it lets you save the transaction with a note, a picture or a location. Easily record where you spent the money and save a picture of the bill. You also get an overview of your balance and see in which categories you've been spending money the most. That will help you see and possibly narrow down the things you're spending money on.

Another feature of the app is to add budgets (perfect for trips and travel or events or even grocery shopping sessions with strict budgets) to document how much you still have left.

That is basically how I sort out my finances and how I keep track of my finances because that is actually my main issue with money! I lose the overview - I lose even more money. A bit control over all that is mandatory if you want to keep things in place and order. By the way, I use a good old Excel spreadsheet for the overview of my expenses and incomes.

I hope this helped a little! Let me know your struggles or tips in the comments!

Until then - spend smartly,
Arden

A College Student's Guide To Sorting Out Finances

8/21/2016



Moving out from my parents' home and moving to a whole new town for college meant a huge deal to me, not only because I was throwing myself into a completely new situation of life and starting something that I've never known before, but also because I had much more responsibilities then and I only slowly realized how serious it actually was.

A very important and at times problematic point was that I had to take care of my own finances. I didn't have to deal with all of that before as my mother would take care of the finances in the household and just teached me how much money I could or could not spend. She was the one planning how much and what groceries to buy, she was the one paying the bills for our home, for our education, for electricity, the Internet.

And then I started my own household in my very own flat and kind of went crazy. I was terrible at my spendings and constantly felt bad. I don't have a shopping addiction or anything but I kind of just lost the control over the money that I had and the money that I gave away.

So mum helped me figure everything out and now I'm definitely doing better because now I'm actually also saving a lot more. If you're struggling with the same thing or want to prevent struggling with finances from the very beginning, this might help you!

Also note that this is a college student's guide to sorting out finances! I am pretty sure there are many more things about finances to deal with once I get older but this guide is what I put together from what I learned as a college student.


Jot down your expenses


The easiest thing is probably to jot down all your expenses first, preferably in a month. There are bills you have to pay, maybe tuitions, the Internet at your place, any flatrates for your phone. The mandatory stuff, you know?

And then add expenses you have when going grocery shopping, stationary shopping or clothes shopping. You should only add the necessary stuff like food, drinks, healthcare like medications and birth control pills, etc.

Other expenses like entertainment (cinema, clubs, theatre, museum visits, gallery visits, opera, sports), trips, books, clothes should be considered to be the expenses that you can make if you have no problem covering the mandatory costs.

So let's say your mandatory costs consist of electricity bills, rent, phone flatrate, the internet, food, drinks and healthcare and college tuition, you'll have to make sure you can cover all those before you go and buy that bag that you've had on your wishlist.

Making sure you can cover your necessary expenses first will help you see how much money you actually still have at the end of the day that you can spend on other things.

Jot down your income


After adding up your expenses, it's time to see how much income you make in a month. That's your salary from your part time job, financial help from your parents, support from the government for education and any extra income from your blog, your Youtube channel, spons and your selling on Etsy or Amazon.

Adding that all together, you'll have an overview of how much you can cover with the income you do have. The money you have left should be the only money you should grab to buy other things that are not too necessary but you'd like to buy. I would suggest always leaving some financial buffer for emergencies or for savings.

Keeping some money for your savings each month is great as well! It can be 50€, it can be just 5€, it doesn't matter.

Keep tracks of your expenses


I would suggest to keep all receipts every day and at the end of the day go through all of them and jot them down on a list so you won't forget. I know my cash card doesn't update its expenses during weekends so I tend to believe that I still have those 120€ left on the card when I've actually already spent 30€ of it. That mistake can result in a negative status which never looks good. So be on the safe side and note every expense you've made and calculate how much you still have.


An app to help with that




Spendee! I've used Spendee ever since I moved out and it is a cute app that helps you track your expenses. It's super easy. Basically you add a balance of how much money you have at the time you start using the app and each time you spend money on something, you'll add a transaction.

You easily press on a button to add a transaction or an income, then it will let you categorize that spending / income and it lets you save the transaction with a note, a picture or a location. Easily record where you spent the money and save a picture of the bill. You also get an overview of your balance and see in which categories you've been spending money the most. That will help you see and possibly narrow down the things you're spending money on.

Another feature of the app is to add budgets (perfect for trips and travel or events or even grocery shopping sessions with strict budgets) to document how much you still have left.

That is basically how I sort out my finances and how I keep track of my finances because that is actually my main issue with money! I lose the overview - I lose even more money. A bit control over all that is mandatory if you want to keep things in place and order. By the way, I use a good old Excel spreadsheet for the overview of my expenses and incomes.

I hope this helped a little! Let me know your struggles or tips in the comments!

Until then - spend smartly,
Arden

Some of you have asked me to write a little about how I practice meditation at all. You were interested in hearing why I meditate, whether it really works and how it works.

Everyone experiences meditation differently and it works differently for everybody. Some need a little more time to practice it effectively than others. So if you're a beginner or just simply interested - this is the post for you.

So what am I even talking about?


Meditation is the act of making our mind calm and peaceful. The purpose of meditation is to get rid of worries and mental discomfort to be happier and feel the best that you can. The more you practice meditation, the better you will feel in the long run. Of course this is not a promise but rather than that, an assistance.

Do you ever become so irritated and mad at the smallest things? Do things easily tick you off? Or do you ever feel really overwhelmed by everything that you want to let out steam but don't really know how?

Next to sports, meditation is a great solution. Of course it doesn't solve problems. But for more order in your mind and for a cleansed head for once in a while, it is a pretty great technique to try.

The Posture


To have a nice and effective meditation session, it's important to have a comfortable seat and a good posture. Keep your back straight but not tense! You do not have to sit cross-legged, it is just a position that helps with the posture the most. (You can even meditate while laying down but you do have to remember to keep your back straight and lay flat on your back.)

Your head is slightly tipped forward and your chin is slightly tucked so it is more comfortable for you to hang lose. Your eyes should be closed. As a beginner this is not mandatory but it's the easiest way to meditate when there is absolutely nothing distracting you or your sight.

So what now? What goes on in the head then?


There are three ways that I like to follow during meditation. There are probably more but these are the ones I practice the most. If you know any more, do let me know! 

Since your body is in a position where you are completely still and not doing anything else, it brings you in a situation where you are on your own with your thoughts and feelings. 

1: The Cloud Meditation: 

You pretend like your head is a mountain and all thoughts and feelings are clouds, just passing by. You let your thoughts pass by, you acknowledge the thoughts but don't think about them, don't immerse in them, don't let them linger. Once a thought occurs, you'll accept that it's there and let it pass. Then the next thought will appear and you'll let it pass as well. You let each thought and feeling fly by one by one until at some point, your mind will be clear of distracting thoughts. 

2. The Breathing Meditation: 

You concentrate on your breathing and try to breathe regularly and calm your breathing until it is in a routine. With every breath out, you'll pretend that you're letting go of all negative feelings and upsetting thoughts in a huge black cloud. With every breath in, you're taking in all the good feelings, the blessings, the inspirations. Don't think about work or duties, just linger in a moment where only that very moment is present. After a while your body will feel peaceful and alert. 

3. The Noise Meditation:

You concentrate on your breathing and try to cleanse your mind from all thoughts while concentrating on the noises around you. It could be the tap water unable to shut off, or the door of your neighbor creaking on the ground. It could be the soft blaring of some guy's radio from the other building. It could be a car driving past your flat. It really doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is that you'll find the noise and if there is none, you'll focus on the silence. After multiple times practicing this, you'll notice that your hearing actually can get even better because your body will feel more alert. 

For how long do I sit still like that?


As a beginner I only managed 5 to 10 minutes. Then I gradually added some more minutes. Nowadays I meditate up to 20 minutes.

What time of day is the best time for meditation? 


I usually meditate before going to sleep or in the morning right after waking up or in the afternoon after uni or a work shift. Any time where you can be in a peaceful, quiet setting, is good. 

Do I need anything else?


You can add any noise or candle smell you like. Music should not accompany you, though, since it is quite distracting, no matter how mellow the tune is. The best way is to really practice meditation in silence, but there's nothing wrong with calming sounds, such as rain or ocean scenes. 

Any apps to help?


Calm : This app works perfectly fine for free. You can use it anywhere and it lets you relax and meditate to calming sounds, such as sounds by the sea, of the ocean or raindrops for example. There are daily programs that will teach you ways to meditate every day. You can definitely also use it to get to sleep.


If you have any more questions or suggestions, I'd love to read them in the comments! I'm always open to write more about meditation or Buddhism in general.

Until then - stay groovy,
Arden

How To Meditate

8/16/2016


Some of you have asked me to write a little about how I practice meditation at all. You were interested in hearing why I meditate, whether it really works and how it works.

Everyone experiences meditation differently and it works differently for everybody. Some need a little more time to practice it effectively than others. So if you're a beginner or just simply interested - this is the post for you.

So what am I even talking about?


Meditation is the act of making our mind calm and peaceful. The purpose of meditation is to get rid of worries and mental discomfort to be happier and feel the best that you can. The more you practice meditation, the better you will feel in the long run. Of course this is not a promise but rather than that, an assistance.

Do you ever become so irritated and mad at the smallest things? Do things easily tick you off? Or do you ever feel really overwhelmed by everything that you want to let out steam but don't really know how?

Next to sports, meditation is a great solution. Of course it doesn't solve problems. But for more order in your mind and for a cleansed head for once in a while, it is a pretty great technique to try.

The Posture


To have a nice and effective meditation session, it's important to have a comfortable seat and a good posture. Keep your back straight but not tense! You do not have to sit cross-legged, it is just a position that helps with the posture the most. (You can even meditate while laying down but you do have to remember to keep your back straight and lay flat on your back.)

Your head is slightly tipped forward and your chin is slightly tucked so it is more comfortable for you to hang lose. Your eyes should be closed. As a beginner this is not mandatory but it's the easiest way to meditate when there is absolutely nothing distracting you or your sight.

So what now? What goes on in the head then?


There are three ways that I like to follow during meditation. There are probably more but these are the ones I practice the most. If you know any more, do let me know! 

Since your body is in a position where you are completely still and not doing anything else, it brings you in a situation where you are on your own with your thoughts and feelings. 

1: The Cloud Meditation: 

You pretend like your head is a mountain and all thoughts and feelings are clouds, just passing by. You let your thoughts pass by, you acknowledge the thoughts but don't think about them, don't immerse in them, don't let them linger. Once a thought occurs, you'll accept that it's there and let it pass. Then the next thought will appear and you'll let it pass as well. You let each thought and feeling fly by one by one until at some point, your mind will be clear of distracting thoughts. 

2. The Breathing Meditation: 

You concentrate on your breathing and try to breathe regularly and calm your breathing until it is in a routine. With every breath out, you'll pretend that you're letting go of all negative feelings and upsetting thoughts in a huge black cloud. With every breath in, you're taking in all the good feelings, the blessings, the inspirations. Don't think about work or duties, just linger in a moment where only that very moment is present. After a while your body will feel peaceful and alert. 

3. The Noise Meditation:

You concentrate on your breathing and try to cleanse your mind from all thoughts while concentrating on the noises around you. It could be the tap water unable to shut off, or the door of your neighbor creaking on the ground. It could be the soft blaring of some guy's radio from the other building. It could be a car driving past your flat. It really doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is that you'll find the noise and if there is none, you'll focus on the silence. After multiple times practicing this, you'll notice that your hearing actually can get even better because your body will feel more alert. 

For how long do I sit still like that?


As a beginner I only managed 5 to 10 minutes. Then I gradually added some more minutes. Nowadays I meditate up to 20 minutes.

What time of day is the best time for meditation? 


I usually meditate before going to sleep or in the morning right after waking up or in the afternoon after uni or a work shift. Any time where you can be in a peaceful, quiet setting, is good. 

Do I need anything else?


You can add any noise or candle smell you like. Music should not accompany you, though, since it is quite distracting, no matter how mellow the tune is. The best way is to really practice meditation in silence, but there's nothing wrong with calming sounds, such as rain or ocean scenes. 

Any apps to help?


Calm : This app works perfectly fine for free. You can use it anywhere and it lets you relax and meditate to calming sounds, such as sounds by the sea, of the ocean or raindrops for example. There are daily programs that will teach you ways to meditate every day. You can definitely also use it to get to sleep.


If you have any more questions or suggestions, I'd love to read them in the comments! I'm always open to write more about meditation or Buddhism in general.

Until then - stay groovy,
Arden

Ever seen the MTV Show Catfish? It's a reality show on MTV by Nev Schulman who, along with his camera buddy Max Joseph, seeks to help people find their online romance who seem to not be who they say they are. Nev himself was catfished before and his brother and a friend filmed the whole thing, making it into a big hit documentary called Catfish.

Well, if you're familiar with the show, you'll know that the act of catfishing people means to lure someone into a relationship by making a fake profile with a fake identity on social media. So the catfish is someone who pretends to be someone they're not by using pictures of someone else and using a different name, age.

Well, in the last post I mentioned that I was catfished for almost two years and just recently found out about who was really behind the fake profile. Some of you were interested in hearing about that story and I am very excited to share it, not because it makes a good story but because there are still many many people out there who are being catfished and whose trust has been crushed by this act.

I don't remember the exact time but I know the exact place where I stumbled across some guy called Dominik. Back then in 2013, I had a Twitter account following all different kinds of fandoms. I was bored, I was a teenager, I was a proper fangirl. So back then everyone just followed everyone and there was that. I talked to some people but never really got close to them because, well, I've met them over the Internet.

But then one day my timeline was spammed by this guy Dominik who was answering questions on his ask.fm and was automatically posting them onto his Twitter. I grew curious and visited his Twitter. I must have been really, really bored because I started talking to him on Ask.fm as well and left some random questions. We began talking after that and we constantly ended up pushing each other to the daily Twitter direct message limit.

This way we became closer and before you know it, we text 24/7 and we've become Internet best friends. His online girlfriend that time whose name I won't say on here, got a ton of hate on her ask.fm site, which I till now don't understand. But of course Dominik and I got a ton of hate as well, since it looked like he was neglecting his girlfriend by talking so much with me. At that point he had sent me presents and letters (yes, I was stupid to even give out my address. Don't do it!) and such and he hadn't even done it with his girlfriend yet.
So yeah, a lot of drama broke out and I kept defending their relationship and no, I wasn't having feelings for Dominik and no, I wasn't trying to break them up.

At this point I knew they had never met in real life before. The first red flag was the fact that we were both living in Germany but for some reason just talked in English (I talk in English with my real life bestie as well, even though we're both in Germany, but that's different). Like he would sometimes say stuff in German but we would automatically go back to English because that was how we met.

Dominik sent me voice messages and audios of him singing with guitar, sent several selfies at random times and I never questioned anything.

Then everything kind of got dark as we began to talk about more serious topics. When I was 13 I'd lost a friend to suicide and that's what I told him and that's exactly why I always worried about him whenever he said he was feeling really down (he was suicidal and had depression). As a good friend of course I kept talking to him and trying to make him feel better. At this point I had even cancelled plans I had with real life friends because I could only talk to him with wi-fi and I didn't have internet outside the house.

I gradually grew emotionally attached to him and was worried a lot because of his depression and because of his hospital visits. Both of his parents had died, he'd always had an abusive father figure and he was diagnosed with cancer. I just wanted to be a good friend and honestly cared a lot about him because he'd been with me through hard times as well. And if someone talks about suicide, you don't ignore that. 

This went on for almost half a year and one day I typed in his name Dominik in the Twitter search bar to look at his profile (I was too lazy to type in his username) and immediately some other guy named Dominik Klein popped up and he had the same exact pictures and more that my Dominik had sent me. My mind started racing and I grew more and more mad as I scrolled down Dominik Klein's page. He's a German youtuber who covers songs and travels a lot. On YouTube I found his covers that Dominik had sent me in snippets.

Of course I immediately confronted him about it and he apologized constantly and explained everything to me. Only that that wasn't everything. But I didn't know it yet at this point. His real name was Mathias Huygen, from the Netherlands, he has younger siblings and was too insecure to show his real face. He'd made that Twitter fanboy account for fun and was caught up when he got in a relationship with his online gf and when he grew close with me as friends and then didn't know what to do.

I thought about it for a day, then told him to tell his online girlfriend. Of course I was upset, but she was in a relationship with him and she deserved to know it more. He asked for more time to figure it out but I was so enraged, I told her myself. They broke up right after that.

The story continues and gets even crazier but I figured I would divide this into several parts, otherwise it would just turn into a novel (which it probably is). So Part II is on its way and I hope you enjoyed reading this.

What are your thoughts? Should I have forgiven him or should I have left him right away? Do YOU have a Catfish experience? I'm dying to know in the comments.

Until then - keep your eyes open,
Arden

About The Time I Got Catfished : Part I

8/09/2016


Ever seen the MTV Show Catfish? It's a reality show on MTV by Nev Schulman who, along with his camera buddy Max Joseph, seeks to help people find their online romance who seem to not be who they say they are. Nev himself was catfished before and his brother and a friend filmed the whole thing, making it into a big hit documentary called Catfish.

Well, if you're familiar with the show, you'll know that the act of catfishing people means to lure someone into a relationship by making a fake profile with a fake identity on social media. So the catfish is someone who pretends to be someone they're not by using pictures of someone else and using a different name, age.

Well, in the last post I mentioned that I was catfished for almost two years and just recently found out about who was really behind the fake profile. Some of you were interested in hearing about that story and I am very excited to share it, not because it makes a good story but because there are still many many people out there who are being catfished and whose trust has been crushed by this act.

I don't remember the exact time but I know the exact place where I stumbled across some guy called Dominik. Back then in 2013, I had a Twitter account following all different kinds of fandoms. I was bored, I was a teenager, I was a proper fangirl. So back then everyone just followed everyone and there was that. I talked to some people but never really got close to them because, well, I've met them over the Internet.

But then one day my timeline was spammed by this guy Dominik who was answering questions on his ask.fm and was automatically posting them onto his Twitter. I grew curious and visited his Twitter. I must have been really, really bored because I started talking to him on Ask.fm as well and left some random questions. We began talking after that and we constantly ended up pushing each other to the daily Twitter direct message limit.

This way we became closer and before you know it, we text 24/7 and we've become Internet best friends. His online girlfriend that time whose name I won't say on here, got a ton of hate on her ask.fm site, which I till now don't understand. But of course Dominik and I got a ton of hate as well, since it looked like he was neglecting his girlfriend by talking so much with me. At that point he had sent me presents and letters (yes, I was stupid to even give out my address. Don't do it!) and such and he hadn't even done it with his girlfriend yet.
So yeah, a lot of drama broke out and I kept defending their relationship and no, I wasn't having feelings for Dominik and no, I wasn't trying to break them up.

At this point I knew they had never met in real life before. The first red flag was the fact that we were both living in Germany but for some reason just talked in English (I talk in English with my real life bestie as well, even though we're both in Germany, but that's different). Like he would sometimes say stuff in German but we would automatically go back to English because that was how we met.

Dominik sent me voice messages and audios of him singing with guitar, sent several selfies at random times and I never questioned anything.

Then everything kind of got dark as we began to talk about more serious topics. When I was 13 I'd lost a friend to suicide and that's what I told him and that's exactly why I always worried about him whenever he said he was feeling really down (he was suicidal and had depression). As a good friend of course I kept talking to him and trying to make him feel better. At this point I had even cancelled plans I had with real life friends because I could only talk to him with wi-fi and I didn't have internet outside the house.

I gradually grew emotionally attached to him and was worried a lot because of his depression and because of his hospital visits. Both of his parents had died, he'd always had an abusive father figure and he was diagnosed with cancer. I just wanted to be a good friend and honestly cared a lot about him because he'd been with me through hard times as well. And if someone talks about suicide, you don't ignore that. 

This went on for almost half a year and one day I typed in his name Dominik in the Twitter search bar to look at his profile (I was too lazy to type in his username) and immediately some other guy named Dominik Klein popped up and he had the same exact pictures and more that my Dominik had sent me. My mind started racing and I grew more and more mad as I scrolled down Dominik Klein's page. He's a German youtuber who covers songs and travels a lot. On YouTube I found his covers that Dominik had sent me in snippets.

Of course I immediately confronted him about it and he apologized constantly and explained everything to me. Only that that wasn't everything. But I didn't know it yet at this point. His real name was Mathias Huygen, from the Netherlands, he has younger siblings and was too insecure to show his real face. He'd made that Twitter fanboy account for fun and was caught up when he got in a relationship with his online gf and when he grew close with me as friends and then didn't know what to do.

I thought about it for a day, then told him to tell his online girlfriend. Of course I was upset, but she was in a relationship with him and she deserved to know it more. He asked for more time to figure it out but I was so enraged, I told her myself. They broke up right after that.

The story continues and gets even crazier but I figured I would divide this into several parts, otherwise it would just turn into a novel (which it probably is). So Part II is on its way and I hope you enjoyed reading this.

What are your thoughts? Should I have forgiven him or should I have left him right away? Do YOU have a Catfish experience? I'm dying to know in the comments.

Until then - keep your eyes open,
Arden

First of all I feel like giving a definition on the word introvert because I’ve seen many introverts being misunderstood and I’ve seen the term being looked upon as if it was a name for some kind of disease.

On the other hand the term has already evolved everywhere and is now one of the most detailed personality trait, probably of you and me and many other people.

Do keep in mind that it is not supposed to put you in a box but help you understand that you’re not the only one feeling the way you feel and that there is simply a term for it so you don’t have to explain loads to people who don’t get your ways of living.

So according to the urban dictionary, being an introvert means:


· Being the opposite of an extrovert. Duh.

· Being someone who is energized by spending time alone and who doesn’t mind spending much time alone

· Being someone who likes to think and immerse oneself in one’s own thoughts

Now this is very important:


Contrary to popular belief, not all introverts are shy! Yes, you read that right. Some introverts may even have great social lives and love talking and meeting with their friends. But they simply need time to be on their own, too, to “recharge” after any social situation because socializing can cause them distress and drain their energy.

So that is me. I am an introvert and I am a hundred percent sure of this statement. Sometimes I may feel like an extrovert but that is wrong – I’m just an introvert on a “good day” in that case.

When did I realize I was an introvert?


I’ve always known that I was quieter than other people, that I’m not too outgoing and don’t mind spending Friday nights at home. I thought maybe I was just boring. But it wasn’t like I lead a boring life. I had my fair share of issues and I’ve gone on trips and on holiday and parties and bars and have met strangers and connected with them for a long time. I talk and laugh and make jokes and am a sarcastic piece of poo which surprises a lot of people.

I’ve always been that friend that was more reserved, never one to be in the middle, but sometimes I was and sometimes I am! I just need to warm up to people, I suppose. And one day this personality test spread across Tumblr and I thought, hey, why not? I don’t know who the hell I am so let’s find out.

So I found out I am in fact an introvert and I read a bunch about being one. I’ve read loads of articles like “XY Things Only Introverts Understand” and videos and more articles.


How is it like, being an introvert?


1. I enjoy spending a lot of time alone and I don’t mind and I don’t feel lonely.

2. I cannot spend too much time with people, even if I love them to death. I always need to recharge after a few days of having a friend over at mine. That does not imply I was annoyed in any way. Just always need a break once in a while.

3. I tend to take walks across my local park or go to an empty platform at night looking over the city to think when nobody is there.

4. I get happy when I make plans with friends and am excited. It might happen that once I’m there, I would feel drained because I’ve already lost all energy from socializing with others before that certain event.

5. The more enthusiastic I am about an event or gathering or whatever plan in that very moment, the more I need to “recharge” after that.

6. Sometimes I don’t reply for days, no matter who you are.

7. Sometimes I don’t feel like going out with friends anymore on a really exhausted and drained day so I might cancel plans. Or tell you I won’t be much fun.

8. My mood depends on the people I hang out with. The more I feel like I have to “impress” somebody, the more draining it gets for me.

9. Sometimes I sleep a really long time and stay in bed all day after days of socializing.

10. I don’t have a problem with socializing and get along pretty well with anyone I respect.

11. I am misunderstood; people think I just don't like going out or feel uncomfortable with going out so sometimes they don't invite me out at all. 

What do I want to tell other people about being an introvert?


I’m not rude, unfriendly, stuck up or bitchy. I do not only keep to myself but also open up to people I trust. I can make jokes and laugh a lot. I’m not scared of getting out there. I’m not mad or depressed or anti-social at all. I just need to step back and not talk to anyone for a while and get a break. That’s it. And that is okay.


So that's about me. Now it's your turn. Feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments, I am dying to read them already. Also feel free to write your own #PersonalityTag on your own blog! I even encourage you to do so. 

Until then - stay yourself,
Arden

My Life As An Introvert

8/03/2016


First of all I feel like giving a definition on the word introvert because I’ve seen many introverts being misunderstood and I’ve seen the term being looked upon as if it was a name for some kind of disease.

On the other hand the term has already evolved everywhere and is now one of the most detailed personality trait, probably of you and me and many other people.

Do keep in mind that it is not supposed to put you in a box but help you understand that you’re not the only one feeling the way you feel and that there is simply a term for it so you don’t have to explain loads to people who don’t get your ways of living.

So according to the urban dictionary, being an introvert means:


· Being the opposite of an extrovert. Duh.

· Being someone who is energized by spending time alone and who doesn’t mind spending much time alone

· Being someone who likes to think and immerse oneself in one’s own thoughts

Now this is very important:


Contrary to popular belief, not all introverts are shy! Yes, you read that right. Some introverts may even have great social lives and love talking and meeting with their friends. But they simply need time to be on their own, too, to “recharge” after any social situation because socializing can cause them distress and drain their energy.

So that is me. I am an introvert and I am a hundred percent sure of this statement. Sometimes I may feel like an extrovert but that is wrong – I’m just an introvert on a “good day” in that case.

When did I realize I was an introvert?


I’ve always known that I was quieter than other people, that I’m not too outgoing and don’t mind spending Friday nights at home. I thought maybe I was just boring. But it wasn’t like I lead a boring life. I had my fair share of issues and I’ve gone on trips and on holiday and parties and bars and have met strangers and connected with them for a long time. I talk and laugh and make jokes and am a sarcastic piece of poo which surprises a lot of people.

I’ve always been that friend that was more reserved, never one to be in the middle, but sometimes I was and sometimes I am! I just need to warm up to people, I suppose. And one day this personality test spread across Tumblr and I thought, hey, why not? I don’t know who the hell I am so let’s find out.

So I found out I am in fact an introvert and I read a bunch about being one. I’ve read loads of articles like “XY Things Only Introverts Understand” and videos and more articles.


How is it like, being an introvert?


1. I enjoy spending a lot of time alone and I don’t mind and I don’t feel lonely.

2. I cannot spend too much time with people, even if I love them to death. I always need to recharge after a few days of having a friend over at mine. That does not imply I was annoyed in any way. Just always need a break once in a while.

3. I tend to take walks across my local park or go to an empty platform at night looking over the city to think when nobody is there.

4. I get happy when I make plans with friends and am excited. It might happen that once I’m there, I would feel drained because I’ve already lost all energy from socializing with others before that certain event.

5. The more enthusiastic I am about an event or gathering or whatever plan in that very moment, the more I need to “recharge” after that.

6. Sometimes I don’t reply for days, no matter who you are.

7. Sometimes I don’t feel like going out with friends anymore on a really exhausted and drained day so I might cancel plans. Or tell you I won’t be much fun.

8. My mood depends on the people I hang out with. The more I feel like I have to “impress” somebody, the more draining it gets for me.

9. Sometimes I sleep a really long time and stay in bed all day after days of socializing.

10. I don’t have a problem with socializing and get along pretty well with anyone I respect.

11. I am misunderstood; people think I just don't like going out or feel uncomfortable with going out so sometimes they don't invite me out at all. 

What do I want to tell other people about being an introvert?


I’m not rude, unfriendly, stuck up or bitchy. I do not only keep to myself but also open up to people I trust. I can make jokes and laugh a lot. I’m not scared of getting out there. I’m not mad or depressed or anti-social at all. I just need to step back and not talk to anyone for a while and get a break. That’s it. And that is okay.


So that's about me. Now it's your turn. Feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments, I am dying to read them already. Also feel free to write your own #PersonalityTag on your own blog! I even encourage you to do so. 

Until then - stay yourself,
Arden

My Journey In Pictures

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