All kinds of things are crammed in my mind, now that 2015 is coming to an end. It was one of the most eventful and exciting years I've ever had, meaning big change is coming my way. And although I don't know whether 2016 will bring me more happiness or heartbreak, I have compiled a list, also for myself, to remind me and others what we need to keep in mind as the years goes by.


Do what you love and love what you do.


Time is passing, lives are changing as the seasons go. Life is short and I'm telling you that whether you're 30 or only 12 years old. Making decisions is not always going to be a piece of cake but whatever you decide on, it should be something you know you'll love. And whatever you do in life, I hope you'll love doing it  or else, what sense does it make?

Embrace change.


Change can be your life saver or a curse, sometimes it can be really terrifying but most of the times, change is a good thing. Life goes on and everything in it with it. Whatever it is that is changing for you right now, embrace it. Make the best of it. Not all changes come easily, and yes, you will have to adapt, but trust me, you'll find your way.


Own your mistakes.


It's not hard, I promise. And yes, it will probably wear you down to admit you've made mistakes, but it'll help you grow as a person. And that's great.

Don't look too far into the future.


Nothing is more terrifying and promising than the future. You might have a plan right now and you might want to follow it until the end. But what if something comes your way right in the middle, giving you the opportunity to try another path? Don't plan too far ahead. There are so many possibilities.

Be loyal.


This will always be one of the most important values, concerning relationships between human beings. Stay loyal to your family and your friends. You'll need all of them on your way and they'll need you.

Speak your mind.


You have a brain. Use it. You have a mouth. Use it. Don't wait, if there's something you have to say, say it. No matter how risky it is. Whatever you say matters so don't be afraid to hold it back. Stay true for what you believe in.

Take care of your body.


Duh. You go first. Take care of yourself.

Embrace your youth.


I'm really bad at "adult". And sticking to my youth isn't a bad thing.

You can never be overeducated.


You heard me. The world is so open, don't stop keeping yourself in knowledge.

Take a day off whenever you feel like it.


It's healthy and something you definitely deserve, you poor hard-working thing. 


From a girl who's excited for the New Year,
Arden.

Things to remember in the new year

12/31/2015


All kinds of things are crammed in my mind, now that 2015 is coming to an end. It was one of the most eventful and exciting years I've ever had, meaning big change is coming my way. And although I don't know whether 2016 will bring me more happiness or heartbreak, I have compiled a list, also for myself, to remind me and others what we need to keep in mind as the years goes by.


Do what you love and love what you do.


Time is passing, lives are changing as the seasons go. Life is short and I'm telling you that whether you're 30 or only 12 years old. Making decisions is not always going to be a piece of cake but whatever you decide on, it should be something you know you'll love. And whatever you do in life, I hope you'll love doing it  or else, what sense does it make?

Embrace change.


Change can be your life saver or a curse, sometimes it can be really terrifying but most of the times, change is a good thing. Life goes on and everything in it with it. Whatever it is that is changing for you right now, embrace it. Make the best of it. Not all changes come easily, and yes, you will have to adapt, but trust me, you'll find your way.


Own your mistakes.


It's not hard, I promise. And yes, it will probably wear you down to admit you've made mistakes, but it'll help you grow as a person. And that's great.

Don't look too far into the future.


Nothing is more terrifying and promising than the future. You might have a plan right now and you might want to follow it until the end. But what if something comes your way right in the middle, giving you the opportunity to try another path? Don't plan too far ahead. There are so many possibilities.

Be loyal.


This will always be one of the most important values, concerning relationships between human beings. Stay loyal to your family and your friends. You'll need all of them on your way and they'll need you.

Speak your mind.


You have a brain. Use it. You have a mouth. Use it. Don't wait, if there's something you have to say, say it. No matter how risky it is. Whatever you say matters so don't be afraid to hold it back. Stay true for what you believe in.

Take care of your body.


Duh. You go first. Take care of yourself.

Embrace your youth.


I'm really bad at "adult". And sticking to my youth isn't a bad thing.

You can never be overeducated.


You heard me. The world is so open, don't stop keeping yourself in knowledge.

Take a day off whenever you feel like it.


It's healthy and something you definitely deserve, you poor hard-working thing. 


From a girl who's excited for the New Year,
Arden.

Let me just say up front: I haven't found a cure for this yet. I'm only nineteen, in the midst of broken hearts and crushed pieces of my romantic dignity. Getting over someone I never had - I've had to deal with this for as long as I can remember.

I've had boyfriends in the past, not many, but enough to get to learn about relationships, how they shouldn't work and how they should work. 

But I've had much more crushes than boyfriends and I know I'm not the only one when I say I feel like I've struggled more than my friends who had to get over their exes because I had to try and get over people I've never had in the first place.

Now you might think that this is absolute bull. Hannie, how could you possibly dare to say you're hurt when you've never been hurt by your crush because you've never even been together in the first place? 

But let me explain myself. I'm not saying I'm hurting more than any of my friends whose hearts have been broken by shameless buttheads and arrogant mind-twisters. I'm not saying I have deeper scars than others out there. I'm just saying that, in my opinion at least, it is harder to get over someone I've never had because liking someone you've never had creates this blissful, thrilling image in your head - about how well you'd fit together, about how amazing you'd be as a couple and how your similar views would benefit a lot from being in a relationship - that never got to shatter in reality. 

It's another story if I would have to get over an ex because I'd know what went wrong, I'd know for sure why it didn't work out or who failed in the relationship. If I knew my ex was an ass for doing something unacceptable, I'd get over him way easier. And because I was in that situation myself, I know for sure that it was way easier for me to get over my exes. 

So when I eventually tell myself that I have to move on from this particular perfect human being, I find myself struggling a lot because that person has not done anything wrong, nor have they upset me in any way. So in my mind, I still think they're oh so perfect and oh so amazing. Now, how do I get over something that would have so much potential in my mind? Wouldn't that be a waste, a pity? 

It's taken me half a year to get over someone like that. Yes, half a year to get over someone I imagined a possible future with but never got to experience being in a relationship with him. I know some of you might be in the same position. So here is how I've managed to get over someone I never had: 


1. I spent (lots and lots of) time with my friends. 


Not to talk about that person but to get my mind off of that person. We went eating, we went to the movies, we went to home parties and clubs. I didn't get wasted until I could no more but I did have a great time with my friends every time we went and that was all that mattered until I eventually started to heal. 


2 I tried out new stuff. 


That was especially easy because I only moved away from my home town (where that person lives) a few months ago and was able to discover a lot of new locations and activities in the new city. 

3. I deleted our conversations on my phone.


Not seeing them on your feed on WhatsApp helps. Not seeing their goddamn gorgeous profile picture every time you're trying to talk to other people will help even more. Now I don't know how hard or easy it is for you at the moment to avoid your deep crush that you try so hard to forget but if there is a way, do it.

4. I met new people. 


Which was also pretty easy because I'm now somewhere different and got to know many new people at work and at college. Meeting new people means getting to feel appreciated or noticed again. Meeting new people widens your horizons because they might have been through similar stuff or even worse. You learn from people and sometimes you adapt their attitude. 


5. I watched my TV shows. 


Watching Pretty Little Liars and Gossip Girl on binge-watch mode got me through as well because they do help you realize that that particular person may or may not be your soulmate and if it's not supposed to happen, it probably won't. And that's okay. There are many other guys out there and your life has only just begun. 

6. I realized there are really plenty fish in the sea.


Really. I know it sounds like such a basic sentence to shove someone in the face when they're feeling super lonely and heartbroken. When my friends kept telling me that, I got annoyed, too. But I hope one day you will too realize that there are really more guys out there who are amazing as well, who will like the same books as you do or even know books you haven't heard of yet but you would enjoy. There are more guys who'll share your music taste. There are more guys who'll share your humour and who'll make you laugh whenever. Just because you don't know where to look doesn't mean you won't be able to find them. 

7. If none of this helps: Confess or ask.


Be direct. Get your answers. You can get rejected or not but at least you'll know. Don't wait for something to happen for five long years. Don't waste your time for someone who won't acknowledge you if you could be flirting shamelessly with other people. Life really is too short for this back and forth playing. Fun fact: One night I was out with my coworkers for a birthday party and after one drink I just so decided to give that person a call and confront him with all of my questions. I got my answers and it was only a few days before New Years Eve and trust me, oh, it felt so good to start anew that way.

If you'd like to know my story concerning this, do tell me so in the comments because I won't hesitate to tell you more about what happened and why I had to try and get over him in the first place. 

Hopefully some of this helps you and if these tips don't apply to your situation or are really hard to execute, I'm sorry! This is just how I managed to do it. 

From a girl whose crushes go deep,
Arden. 

Getting over someone you never had

12/18/2015


Let me just say up front: I haven't found a cure for this yet. I'm only nineteen, in the midst of broken hearts and crushed pieces of my romantic dignity. Getting over someone I never had - I've had to deal with this for as long as I can remember.

I've had boyfriends in the past, not many, but enough to get to learn about relationships, how they shouldn't work and how they should work. 

But I've had much more crushes than boyfriends and I know I'm not the only one when I say I feel like I've struggled more than my friends who had to get over their exes because I had to try and get over people I've never had in the first place.

Now you might think that this is absolute bull. Hannie, how could you possibly dare to say you're hurt when you've never been hurt by your crush because you've never even been together in the first place? 

But let me explain myself. I'm not saying I'm hurting more than any of my friends whose hearts have been broken by shameless buttheads and arrogant mind-twisters. I'm not saying I have deeper scars than others out there. I'm just saying that, in my opinion at least, it is harder to get over someone I've never had because liking someone you've never had creates this blissful, thrilling image in your head - about how well you'd fit together, about how amazing you'd be as a couple and how your similar views would benefit a lot from being in a relationship - that never got to shatter in reality. 

It's another story if I would have to get over an ex because I'd know what went wrong, I'd know for sure why it didn't work out or who failed in the relationship. If I knew my ex was an ass for doing something unacceptable, I'd get over him way easier. And because I was in that situation myself, I know for sure that it was way easier for me to get over my exes. 

So when I eventually tell myself that I have to move on from this particular perfect human being, I find myself struggling a lot because that person has not done anything wrong, nor have they upset me in any way. So in my mind, I still think they're oh so perfect and oh so amazing. Now, how do I get over something that would have so much potential in my mind? Wouldn't that be a waste, a pity? 

It's taken me half a year to get over someone like that. Yes, half a year to get over someone I imagined a possible future with but never got to experience being in a relationship with him. I know some of you might be in the same position. So here is how I've managed to get over someone I never had: 


1. I spent (lots and lots of) time with my friends. 


Not to talk about that person but to get my mind off of that person. We went eating, we went to the movies, we went to home parties and clubs. I didn't get wasted until I could no more but I did have a great time with my friends every time we went and that was all that mattered until I eventually started to heal. 


2 I tried out new stuff. 


That was especially easy because I only moved away from my home town (where that person lives) a few months ago and was able to discover a lot of new locations and activities in the new city. 

3. I deleted our conversations on my phone.


Not seeing them on your feed on WhatsApp helps. Not seeing their goddamn gorgeous profile picture every time you're trying to talk to other people will help even more. Now I don't know how hard or easy it is for you at the moment to avoid your deep crush that you try so hard to forget but if there is a way, do it.

4. I met new people. 


Which was also pretty easy because I'm now somewhere different and got to know many new people at work and at college. Meeting new people means getting to feel appreciated or noticed again. Meeting new people widens your horizons because they might have been through similar stuff or even worse. You learn from people and sometimes you adapt their attitude. 


5. I watched my TV shows. 


Watching Pretty Little Liars and Gossip Girl on binge-watch mode got me through as well because they do help you realize that that particular person may or may not be your soulmate and if it's not supposed to happen, it probably won't. And that's okay. There are many other guys out there and your life has only just begun. 

6. I realized there are really plenty fish in the sea.


Really. I know it sounds like such a basic sentence to shove someone in the face when they're feeling super lonely and heartbroken. When my friends kept telling me that, I got annoyed, too. But I hope one day you will too realize that there are really more guys out there who are amazing as well, who will like the same books as you do or even know books you haven't heard of yet but you would enjoy. There are more guys who'll share your music taste. There are more guys who'll share your humour and who'll make you laugh whenever. Just because you don't know where to look doesn't mean you won't be able to find them. 

7. If none of this helps: Confess or ask.


Be direct. Get your answers. You can get rejected or not but at least you'll know. Don't wait for something to happen for five long years. Don't waste your time for someone who won't acknowledge you if you could be flirting shamelessly with other people. Life really is too short for this back and forth playing. Fun fact: One night I was out with my coworkers for a birthday party and after one drink I just so decided to give that person a call and confront him with all of my questions. I got my answers and it was only a few days before New Years Eve and trust me, oh, it felt so good to start anew that way.

If you'd like to know my story concerning this, do tell me so in the comments because I won't hesitate to tell you more about what happened and why I had to try and get over him in the first place. 

Hopefully some of this helps you and if these tips don't apply to your situation or are really hard to execute, I'm sorry! This is just how I managed to do it. 

From a girl whose crushes go deep,
Arden. 



I just came back from my book-bulk shopping tour and am excited to announce which books I'm definitely reading and re-reading this winter. There are a few new finds for me and if you wish, I can certainly write a review on them one day! So just let me know and leave a comment below if you've read any of these books (I'm sure you have, since there are a few classics listed).


Murakami's Kafka On The Shore 


... has caught my eye ever since Jenn suggested it in one of her Favorites videos. I've also heard a lot about the author himself and only just started reading the book. I can already say the writing is outstanding.

Kafka On The Shore, a tour de force of metaphysical reality, is powered by two remarkable characters: a teenage boy, Kafka Tamura, who runs away from home either to escape a gruesome oedipal prophecy or to search for his long-missing mother and sister; and an aging simpleton called Nakata, who never recovered from a wartime affliction and now is drawn toward Kafka for reasons that, like the most basic activities of daily life, he cannot fathom. Their odyssey, as mysterious to them as it is to us, is enriched throughout by vivid accomplices and mesmerizing events. Cats and people carry on conversations, a ghostlike pimp employs a Hegel-quoting prostitute, a forest harbors soldiers apparently unaged since World War II, and rainstorms of fish (and worse) fall from the sky. There is a brutal murder, with the identity of both victim and perpetrator a riddle - yet this, along with everything else, is eventually answered, just as the entwined destinies of Kafka and Nakata are gradually revealed, with one escaping his fate entirely and the other given a fresh start on his own. (x)


Gone Girl 


... has been on the shelf for long. Not literally - because I just got it as a birthday present from the lovely Tutti - but let's say I've always wanted to read this book. Just because the synopsis was really interesting to me (I love books about missing people and finding out why they've gone missing).

Only a few pages in and I'm already hooked.

On a warm summer morning in North Carthage, Missouri, it is Nick and Amy Dunne’s fifth wedding anniversary. Presents are being wrapped and reservations are being made when Nick’s clever and beautiful wife disappears. Husband-of-the-Year Nick isn’t doing himself any favors with cringe-worthy daydreams about the slope and shape of his wife’s head, but passages from Amy's diary reveal the alpha-girl perfectionist could have put anyone dangerously on edge. Under mounting pressure from the police and the media—as well as Amy’s fiercely doting parents—the town golden boy parades an endless series of lies, deceits, and inappropriate behavior. Nick is oddly evasive, and he’s definitely bitter—but is he really a killer? (x)


Catcher In The Rye 


... has been praised as the favourite classic of all the time, by many many people. I myself haven't read it yet but I am hyped to find out what the "fuss" has all been about.

"...the first thing you'll probably want to know is where I was born and what my lousy childhood was like, and how my parents were occupied and all before they had me, and all that David Copperfield kind of crap, but I don't feel like going into it, if you want to know the truth. In the first place, that stuff bores me, and in the second place, my parents would have about two hemorrhages apiece if I told anything pretty personal about them."

Since his debut in 1951 as The Catcher in the Rye, Holden Caulfield has been synonymous with "cynical adolescent." Holden narrates the story of a couple of days in his sixteen-year-old life, just after he's been expelled from prep school, in a slang that sounds edgy even today and keeps this novel on banned book lists. His constant wry observations about what he encounters, from teachers to phonies (the two of course are not mutually exclusive) capture the essence of the eternal teenage experience of alienation. (x)


F (a novel) 


... is the novel I'm in the middle of reading as of now. I love mind challenging, complex books and this one seems to be a really deep one.

Artful and subversive, F tells the story of the Friedland family - fakers, all of them - and the day when the fate in which they don't quite believe catches up with them. Having achieved nothing in life, Arthur Friedland is tricked on stage by a hypnotist and told to change everything. After he abandons his three young sons, they grow up to be a faithless priest, a broke financier and a forger. Each of them cultivates absence. One will be lost to it. A novel about the game of fate and the fetters of family, F never stops questioning, exploring and teasing at every twist and turn of its Rubik's Cube-like narrative. (x)


To Kill A Mockingbird 


... is probably the book that everybody has heard of in their life if they haven't read it yet. I'm definitely re-reading this book this winter because, well, winter is comfy reading season and a favourite should be featured indeed.

Compassionate, dramatic, and deeply moving, To Kill A Mockingbird takes readers to the roots of human behavior—to innocence and experience, kindness and cruelty, love and hatred, humor and pathos. Now with over 18 million copies in print and translated into forty languages, this regional story by a young Alabama woman claims universal appeal. Harper Lee always considered her book to be a simple love story. Today it is regarded as a masterpiece of American literature. (x)

Have you read any of these books? What do you think of them? What are your favourite kinds of books? And which ones are you reading this winter? Let me know!


From the girl who loves books more than fries,
Arden. 

What I'm reading this winter

12/06/2015




I just came back from my book-bulk shopping tour and am excited to announce which books I'm definitely reading and re-reading this winter. There are a few new finds for me and if you wish, I can certainly write a review on them one day! So just let me know and leave a comment below if you've read any of these books (I'm sure you have, since there are a few classics listed).


Murakami's Kafka On The Shore 


... has caught my eye ever since Jenn suggested it in one of her Favorites videos. I've also heard a lot about the author himself and only just started reading the book. I can already say the writing is outstanding.

Kafka On The Shore, a tour de force of metaphysical reality, is powered by two remarkable characters: a teenage boy, Kafka Tamura, who runs away from home either to escape a gruesome oedipal prophecy or to search for his long-missing mother and sister; and an aging simpleton called Nakata, who never recovered from a wartime affliction and now is drawn toward Kafka for reasons that, like the most basic activities of daily life, he cannot fathom. Their odyssey, as mysterious to them as it is to us, is enriched throughout by vivid accomplices and mesmerizing events. Cats and people carry on conversations, a ghostlike pimp employs a Hegel-quoting prostitute, a forest harbors soldiers apparently unaged since World War II, and rainstorms of fish (and worse) fall from the sky. There is a brutal murder, with the identity of both victim and perpetrator a riddle - yet this, along with everything else, is eventually answered, just as the entwined destinies of Kafka and Nakata are gradually revealed, with one escaping his fate entirely and the other given a fresh start on his own. (x)


Gone Girl 


... has been on the shelf for long. Not literally - because I just got it as a birthday present from the lovely Tutti - but let's say I've always wanted to read this book. Just because the synopsis was really interesting to me (I love books about missing people and finding out why they've gone missing).

Only a few pages in and I'm already hooked.

On a warm summer morning in North Carthage, Missouri, it is Nick and Amy Dunne’s fifth wedding anniversary. Presents are being wrapped and reservations are being made when Nick’s clever and beautiful wife disappears. Husband-of-the-Year Nick isn’t doing himself any favors with cringe-worthy daydreams about the slope and shape of his wife’s head, but passages from Amy's diary reveal the alpha-girl perfectionist could have put anyone dangerously on edge. Under mounting pressure from the police and the media—as well as Amy’s fiercely doting parents—the town golden boy parades an endless series of lies, deceits, and inappropriate behavior. Nick is oddly evasive, and he’s definitely bitter—but is he really a killer? (x)


Catcher In The Rye 


... has been praised as the favourite classic of all the time, by many many people. I myself haven't read it yet but I am hyped to find out what the "fuss" has all been about.

"...the first thing you'll probably want to know is where I was born and what my lousy childhood was like, and how my parents were occupied and all before they had me, and all that David Copperfield kind of crap, but I don't feel like going into it, if you want to know the truth. In the first place, that stuff bores me, and in the second place, my parents would have about two hemorrhages apiece if I told anything pretty personal about them."

Since his debut in 1951 as The Catcher in the Rye, Holden Caulfield has been synonymous with "cynical adolescent." Holden narrates the story of a couple of days in his sixteen-year-old life, just after he's been expelled from prep school, in a slang that sounds edgy even today and keeps this novel on banned book lists. His constant wry observations about what he encounters, from teachers to phonies (the two of course are not mutually exclusive) capture the essence of the eternal teenage experience of alienation. (x)


F (a novel) 


... is the novel I'm in the middle of reading as of now. I love mind challenging, complex books and this one seems to be a really deep one.

Artful and subversive, F tells the story of the Friedland family - fakers, all of them - and the day when the fate in which they don't quite believe catches up with them. Having achieved nothing in life, Arthur Friedland is tricked on stage by a hypnotist and told to change everything. After he abandons his three young sons, they grow up to be a faithless priest, a broke financier and a forger. Each of them cultivates absence. One will be lost to it. A novel about the game of fate and the fetters of family, F never stops questioning, exploring and teasing at every twist and turn of its Rubik's Cube-like narrative. (x)


To Kill A Mockingbird 


... is probably the book that everybody has heard of in their life if they haven't read it yet. I'm definitely re-reading this book this winter because, well, winter is comfy reading season and a favourite should be featured indeed.

Compassionate, dramatic, and deeply moving, To Kill A Mockingbird takes readers to the roots of human behavior—to innocence and experience, kindness and cruelty, love and hatred, humor and pathos. Now with over 18 million copies in print and translated into forty languages, this regional story by a young Alabama woman claims universal appeal. Harper Lee always considered her book to be a simple love story. Today it is regarded as a masterpiece of American literature. (x)

Have you read any of these books? What do you think of them? What are your favourite kinds of books? And which ones are you reading this winter? Let me know!


From the girl who loves books more than fries,
Arden. 

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