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1. It's perfectly fine to be introverted. And it's fine to be shy.

2. I am not entirely unable to be outgoing. I actually love being outgoing and feeling confident and bubbly and on top of the world. And sometimes that happens and I can embrace that and take those moments to grow.

3. There's no black and white in the spectrum of intro- and extroversion. Everyone has both features in themselves and there's no restriction or rule. Hell, even the labels themselves aren't necessary.

4. I love meeting new people and I'm not actually petrified of getting to know them. So I can go for it. And yes, I'm the most awkward person I know but even if something embarrassing leaves my mouth whilst talking to new people, I'll just have to laugh it off.

5. People don't necessarily think I'm boring because I'm not as outgoing as others. If anything they think I'm the most chill person and sometimes even prefer that over uber-talkative people.

6. Practice may not make perfect in this case but it does take away some fear. Having to call up suppliers for work every day and taking calls helped tremendously.

7. I just have to be honest when I need time alone to recharge. I don't need to make excuses. My friends will understand. Eventually. And if they don't, I'll just have to tell them again.


Until then – stay yourself,
Arden

7 Realisations Of An Introvert

5/25/2017


1. It's perfectly fine to be introverted. And it's fine to be shy.

2. I am not entirely unable to be outgoing. I actually love being outgoing and feeling confident and bubbly and on top of the world. And sometimes that happens and I can embrace that and take those moments to grow.

3. There's no black and white in the spectrum of intro- and extroversion. Everyone has both features in themselves and there's no restriction or rule. Hell, even the labels themselves aren't necessary.

4. I love meeting new people and I'm not actually petrified of getting to know them. So I can go for it. And yes, I'm the most awkward person I know but even if something embarrassing leaves my mouth whilst talking to new people, I'll just have to laugh it off.

5. People don't necessarily think I'm boring because I'm not as outgoing as others. If anything they think I'm the most chill person and sometimes even prefer that over uber-talkative people.

6. Practice may not make perfect in this case but it does take away some fear. Having to call up suppliers for work every day and taking calls helped tremendously.

7. I just have to be honest when I need time alone to recharge. I don't need to make excuses. My friends will understand. Eventually. And if they don't, I'll just have to tell them again.


Until then – stay yourself,
Arden
Taken in an Italian restaurant by Primrose Hill

My relationship with colds


I am guilty of a writing and uploading schedule that I cannot stick to because I'm still sick and it seems as if I'm never going to get any better because I just don't get around to get back to complete health again. I feel bad whenever I get sick and have to miss out on work, not because I'm so motivated and dedicated for it right now but because I just dislike wasting time away at home. Even though I should. Instead, I do stuff and rest a bit until I'm a tad better and then I do stuff again and my health just fluctuates like that. At this point I'm just sick all the time – it's just a matter of whether it's become really bad or manageable. 

My undying hate for travel complications


So I flew home to Germany for the weekend to go to therapy and to be there for my Mum's birthday. All that went great and the weather was lovely and I was happy, looking past the fact that I still had a fever and a headache going on. It was perfect. Just getting there and getting back here to London was a nightmare. Part of why is that I was stupid and decided to book late flights so I could get home a day earlier and to stay as long as I could with my family. Aftermath: I missed my last trains both times. I had to spend a night at the airport in Germany before I could get my 4:25 A.M. train to Dresden in the morning and I had to get the tube all the way to Heathrow – which took an hour – to get on a bus that would take me home – which also roughly took an hour and 41 stops. This caused nothing but panic attacks and fits of frustration. And a very tired Arden pointing hand guns to her head.

My addiction to a new series


I'm pretty sure the whole blogsphere has already read or at least heard about the book #Girlboss. I never got around to read it so when I found out that a show was made for it with Britt Robertson as the lead role, I had to watch it. I recommend it to all the aspiring #Girlbosses out there. I definitely got motivation from it and it made me say "You go girl!" all the time. Such an empowering, inspiring and confidence boosting story. 


Pretty house line-up by Primrose Hill

My love for Rudy Mancuso


If you haven't watched Rudy's stuff on YouTube yet, what are you doing? His sense of humour is totally my style and I rave about his "funny musical..." episodes all the time, which have become personal gags between friends and I. He's goofy and hilarious, doesn't take himself too seriously, pretty charming and extremely talented as well. Seriously, his Shape Of You remix is still addicting. 

My realisation about changing relationships and friendships


Something I learned from my therapist – because she gives pretty damn badass advice – is something that I underestimated all along. I learned to accept. I've been fed up with friendships and any kind of relationship in my mind slowly changing and I've been terrified of the change and wanting to get everything back to the way they were. It was making me very unhappy and I was putting way too much pressure on myself, thinking that I should do something about this change, that if I didn't do anything, I would just allow it to happen when it shouldn't! 

Thing is, I have to accept that these people, these relationships I have with them are changing. Yes, it's uncomfortable and it hurts and it's not perfect and not something I ever wanted to happen. Whilst fighting against this change it is only going to be harder for me so all I can do is accept and make the best of it for now. People change, so do I, so do relationships, naturally. It's all going to come together in some way or another. 

My resting bitch face syndrome update  


I suffer from the good old resting bitch face syndrome and when I say this, this will sound like the biggest case of a first world problem. But I can assure you it's the worst. It used to be, anyway. People wouldn't approach me because I scared them away, people would keep asking me what's wrong when all I did was simply think about the next thing I wanted to eat. And then I realised that most of the people approaching my friends all the time were not people I wanted to approach me anyway and figured that maybe my resting bitch face can be quite good at filtering out whom I want to talk to me instead. And I think I like this mindset of being in control of who will talk to me. And the people in my life who like me most didn't fear my resting screw face, either. 

I hope you enjoyed this really personal throw-in into my schedule that I am still sorting out!

Until then – stay classy,
Arden

Checking In On Arden's Not So Crazy But Messy Life

5/15/2017

Taken in an Italian restaurant by Primrose Hill

My relationship with colds


I am guilty of a writing and uploading schedule that I cannot stick to because I'm still sick and it seems as if I'm never going to get any better because I just don't get around to get back to complete health again. I feel bad whenever I get sick and have to miss out on work, not because I'm so motivated and dedicated for it right now but because I just dislike wasting time away at home. Even though I should. Instead, I do stuff and rest a bit until I'm a tad better and then I do stuff again and my health just fluctuates like that. At this point I'm just sick all the time – it's just a matter of whether it's become really bad or manageable. 

My undying hate for travel complications


So I flew home to Germany for the weekend to go to therapy and to be there for my Mum's birthday. All that went great and the weather was lovely and I was happy, looking past the fact that I still had a fever and a headache going on. It was perfect. Just getting there and getting back here to London was a nightmare. Part of why is that I was stupid and decided to book late flights so I could get home a day earlier and to stay as long as I could with my family. Aftermath: I missed my last trains both times. I had to spend a night at the airport in Germany before I could get my 4:25 A.M. train to Dresden in the morning and I had to get the tube all the way to Heathrow – which took an hour – to get on a bus that would take me home – which also roughly took an hour and 41 stops. This caused nothing but panic attacks and fits of frustration. And a very tired Arden pointing hand guns to her head.

My addiction to a new series


I'm pretty sure the whole blogsphere has already read or at least heard about the book #Girlboss. I never got around to read it so when I found out that a show was made for it with Britt Robertson as the lead role, I had to watch it. I recommend it to all the aspiring #Girlbosses out there. I definitely got motivation from it and it made me say "You go girl!" all the time. Such an empowering, inspiring and confidence boosting story. 


Pretty house line-up by Primrose Hill

My love for Rudy Mancuso


If you haven't watched Rudy's stuff on YouTube yet, what are you doing? His sense of humour is totally my style and I rave about his "funny musical..." episodes all the time, which have become personal gags between friends and I. He's goofy and hilarious, doesn't take himself too seriously, pretty charming and extremely talented as well. Seriously, his Shape Of You remix is still addicting. 

My realisation about changing relationships and friendships


Something I learned from my therapist – because she gives pretty damn badass advice – is something that I underestimated all along. I learned to accept. I've been fed up with friendships and any kind of relationship in my mind slowly changing and I've been terrified of the change and wanting to get everything back to the way they were. It was making me very unhappy and I was putting way too much pressure on myself, thinking that I should do something about this change, that if I didn't do anything, I would just allow it to happen when it shouldn't! 

Thing is, I have to accept that these people, these relationships I have with them are changing. Yes, it's uncomfortable and it hurts and it's not perfect and not something I ever wanted to happen. Whilst fighting against this change it is only going to be harder for me so all I can do is accept and make the best of it for now. People change, so do I, so do relationships, naturally. It's all going to come together in some way or another. 

My resting bitch face syndrome update  


I suffer from the good old resting bitch face syndrome and when I say this, this will sound like the biggest case of a first world problem. But I can assure you it's the worst. It used to be, anyway. People wouldn't approach me because I scared them away, people would keep asking me what's wrong when all I did was simply think about the next thing I wanted to eat. And then I realised that most of the people approaching my friends all the time were not people I wanted to approach me anyway and figured that maybe my resting bitch face can be quite good at filtering out whom I want to talk to me instead. And I think I like this mindset of being in control of who will talk to me. And the people in my life who like me most didn't fear my resting screw face, either. 

I hope you enjoyed this really personal throw-in into my schedule that I am still sorting out!

Until then – stay classy,
Arden
Photo by Emily Burtner

So I met a guy. We clicked somehow. Spent a lot of time together and it was exciting to say the least. We kissed, we fell asleep together.

He cares about me and likes to show it in public, too. He gives me forehead kisses and lets me lay on his lap on a bench in the park. He gives me compliments and tries to build my confidence and he listens to my kind of music now. He listens to what I say and catches everything I say. He doesn’t mind that I’m a broken girl and that most of the times I'm just mental. He calls me cute and girlfriend and treats me well. And I think he’s someone I deserve because he treats me like a princess and takes care of me when I’m sick.

The thing is I think my head is telling me yes when my heart is taking a step back. And that's a first for me. I’m not entirely sure why that is but I think we don’t click personality wise. We're so different. I think this might be based on attraction and infatuation rather than love. I think I like him because he’s so much boyfriend material that all girls would kill to have someone like him and because he does things that I could only dream of someone doing for me. I think I like him for the things he does for me, how he acts and not exactly because of how he makes me feel or how I feel about him personally.

If I were to create a playlist for him there’s nothing that comes to mind. And that's a pretty big sign for me because I've most likely created a playlist for everyone really meaningful in my life. I mean of course you could grow into a relationship. But if anyone asked why I like him, nothing personal comes to mind, nothing that isn’t coming from a selfish place, other than that he’s a responsible person and caring and kind.

I think I will have to refuse Prince Charming this time because it wouldn’t be fair and probably wouldn’t live for too long anyway. I want to be honest with myself and I feel like I am at a point where I’m growing and for that I need independence. As a dear friend of mine said to me a week ago, I shouldn’t settle if I'm not 100% sure and then regret not experiencing enough for the rest of my life.

Maybe he was Prince Charming but just not the one. 

Until then – tell me I'm not crazy,
Arden

Why I refused to be with Prince Charming

5/03/2017

Photo by Emily Burtner

So I met a guy. We clicked somehow. Spent a lot of time together and it was exciting to say the least. We kissed, we fell asleep together.

He cares about me and likes to show it in public, too. He gives me forehead kisses and lets me lay on his lap on a bench in the park. He gives me compliments and tries to build my confidence and he listens to my kind of music now. He listens to what I say and catches everything I say. He doesn’t mind that I’m a broken girl and that most of the times I'm just mental. He calls me cute and girlfriend and treats me well. And I think he’s someone I deserve because he treats me like a princess and takes care of me when I’m sick.

The thing is I think my head is telling me yes when my heart is taking a step back. And that's a first for me. I’m not entirely sure why that is but I think we don’t click personality wise. We're so different. I think this might be based on attraction and infatuation rather than love. I think I like him because he’s so much boyfriend material that all girls would kill to have someone like him and because he does things that I could only dream of someone doing for me. I think I like him for the things he does for me, how he acts and not exactly because of how he makes me feel or how I feel about him personally.

If I were to create a playlist for him there’s nothing that comes to mind. And that's a pretty big sign for me because I've most likely created a playlist for everyone really meaningful in my life. I mean of course you could grow into a relationship. But if anyone asked why I like him, nothing personal comes to mind, nothing that isn’t coming from a selfish place, other than that he’s a responsible person and caring and kind.

I think I will have to refuse Prince Charming this time because it wouldn’t be fair and probably wouldn’t live for too long anyway. I want to be honest with myself and I feel like I am at a point where I’m growing and for that I need independence. As a dear friend of mine said to me a week ago, I shouldn’t settle if I'm not 100% sure and then regret not experiencing enough for the rest of my life.

Maybe he was Prince Charming but just not the one. 

Until then – tell me I'm not crazy,
Arden
Gorgeous drawing by Günseli Sepici

Okay wow, so that title is not very nice and it's harsh coming from, well, a young woman that is presenting herself online. But you know what? I don't give two shreds of fucks because I will just say what I have to say and why? Because I can and because I'm in the position to do so. I don't know when this started honestly. As a daily user of social media and everything that comes with it, I am thoroughly consumed by it like everyone else, though I am a bit immune when it comes to authenticity online.

Social media displays the truth on bare pixels: the happy, rich and successful ones are taking over the world and influencing audiences bigger than ever before. Ridiculous algorithms take over and replace good old authentic talent and personal strength in visuals.

What has this space become? Everything is homogenised, monetised to the point you can't even trust anymore whether people really do like the products they rave about or whether they're, you know, blinded by easy dollars.

And feelings? Personal struggles? Put that aside, no one wants to know about that. That shit is too personal, too deep, too stressful, too depressing, too controversial. Everyone fancies jealousy and materialism, "goals" everything. And are we ever heard, the ones that voice their opinions, their daily realisations big and small? Are we ever heard, the ones that screw filters and show themselves exactly as they are?

Why do pictures get deleted when there aren't enough "likes"? Are you kidding me? Why do people find it weird of me to post multiple photos a day? Well I apologize for the spam but I am honestly, genuinely doing this for myself.

Since when has being popular and pretty and exciting and perfect have become the new "relatable"? Where is the personality? Where is the uniqueness when everyone is doing and saying the same thing? What is the point where all you do is agree? Where is the communication and discussion, which is by the way, the actual point of this whole online presence thing? Don't remember that? Me, neither. 

So now honestly, I don't give a piece of interest anymore and I will not try to put myself in a drawer that is already overflowing. I'd rather be the canvas in the corner, the polaroid photos on the walls and posters by the drawer.

Naked, bare, present and always honest.

*

What's your take on this? I am in a rave.

Until then – stay yourself and nothing but yourself,
Arden

Why I don't give a f*ck about online presence standards

5/01/2017

Gorgeous drawing by Günseli Sepici

Okay wow, so that title is not very nice and it's harsh coming from, well, a young woman that is presenting herself online. But you know what? I don't give two shreds of fucks because I will just say what I have to say and why? Because I can and because I'm in the position to do so. I don't know when this started honestly. As a daily user of social media and everything that comes with it, I am thoroughly consumed by it like everyone else, though I am a bit immune when it comes to authenticity online.

Social media displays the truth on bare pixels: the happy, rich and successful ones are taking over the world and influencing audiences bigger than ever before. Ridiculous algorithms take over and replace good old authentic talent and personal strength in visuals.

What has this space become? Everything is homogenised, monetised to the point you can't even trust anymore whether people really do like the products they rave about or whether they're, you know, blinded by easy dollars.

And feelings? Personal struggles? Put that aside, no one wants to know about that. That shit is too personal, too deep, too stressful, too depressing, too controversial. Everyone fancies jealousy and materialism, "goals" everything. And are we ever heard, the ones that voice their opinions, their daily realisations big and small? Are we ever heard, the ones that screw filters and show themselves exactly as they are?

Why do pictures get deleted when there aren't enough "likes"? Are you kidding me? Why do people find it weird of me to post multiple photos a day? Well I apologize for the spam but I am honestly, genuinely doing this for myself.

Since when has being popular and pretty and exciting and perfect have become the new "relatable"? Where is the personality? Where is the uniqueness when everyone is doing and saying the same thing? What is the point where all you do is agree? Where is the communication and discussion, which is by the way, the actual point of this whole online presence thing? Don't remember that? Me, neither. 

So now honestly, I don't give a piece of interest anymore and I will not try to put myself in a drawer that is already overflowing. I'd rather be the canvas in the corner, the polaroid photos on the walls and posters by the drawer.

Naked, bare, present and always honest.

*

What's your take on this? I am in a rave.

Until then – stay yourself and nothing but yourself,
Arden

My Journey In Pictures

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